"The Wind Flower Looks Up" - Travelers Rest, SC
"Old Life" - Travelers Rest, SC
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Striving for Depth
We live in a culture that flaunts the skin deep and tries to keep things surface level because it feels good and makes itself seem intelligent. Not many think about the ins and outs of how this world turns and try to get to the heart of the problems. They're looking to be entertained, distracted and are willing to accept whatever fabricated popular idea that floats around as true. When we question it or try to delve deeper into an issue, people turn off, dismiss us, or it might go way over their heads. It's like trying to dig for treasure with someone, but when you start breaking ground they decide they want to play with a ping pong paddle instead.
When we express ourselves via writing, art, or conversation, we're putting ourselves out there...putting our philosophies, deepest thoughts, and vulnerabilities on display and on trial. We want to see our ideas take shape and and find application...while, at the same time, lift a weight off of our chest. We hope that what we express will resonate with someone. When we watch movies or read books and are able to see the deeper meaning, we want to reflect on those ideas with others. Or when we have deep conversations that touch so many facets of life, we discover the joy of learning from one another. It's a beautiful two-way dialogue between human beings.
But it's when our depth and expression isn't connecting with people. It's when we seek perspective and sound counsel but end up hearing the same old generics and generalities, the same surface level "stuff." We as human beings have hearts and minds that seek meaning. It's frustrating when there isn't anyone around who we feel truly understands what we're trying to say. It's like wanting to put it down a large boulder, but being surrounded by fragile, empty clay vases.
Our ideas and expressions will collect dust and get lost in busyness and old age. We begin to be content with our complacency. We will become numb to new ideas and possibilities that present themselves. We end up leaving a world unexplored, a mind un-exercised, and a heart left empty while it cries out for something more. We end up filling our minds with all the wrong things until it can no longer discern between the good and useless. Then suddenly we begin to look, feel, and think like everybody else. This isn't what we were meant for.
If you're finding yourself here, let me exhort you to keep living deeply. Keep searching the world out, and putting yourself out there. The fact that you question, ponder, and wonder is a sign of a longing and curious spirit, thirsty for truth in this world. The ideas and expressions that you put into the air are the substance of the profound nature that makes up a humanity longing for completion! It gives hope to others that they aren't the only ones searching and encourages them to keep doing so. There are so many who give up that fight because it's too much to handle or life and the culture have taken the best of them.
We need more people who choose to think...and by thinking, inspire. Don't give up just because there aren't many people walking with you. Seeking out truth in the depths of this world means getting down and dirty, and that may mean walking and digging alone. But there will be few diggers, fellow searchers who will join you in that pursuit, and when you finally find that treasure...it will be well worth it.
There are going to be many people we meet who genuinely won't understand where we're coming from. For them it's a disconnect because of culture, upbringing, experience or that they're in a different place or different time of life. You have the job of expounding your knowledge and insight to others by communicating and living it out, helping people grow into deeper human beings. We may not be able to get everyone to think and feel deeply, but we can at least know we're using what we've been given. For some it might take years before they begin to think or feel deeply again, but as we walk this road together, the knowledge we've acquired becomes real and more fulfilling when we've used what we know to help someone on their path.
You have been given a working mind. Develop it. Feed it. Exercise it. Use it. Don't give up because people shy away from your depth or don't understand you. Find like-minded people who share in your curiosity and desire to live to the fullest. Work on that song, that story or article, that painting, and that idea with diligence and let it go forth. Put yourselves and your ideas out there and let them get picked up by those searching and willing to work to understand.
If we wanted to search out the truth of things and live deeply, we wouldn't want to do it alone. And if we offered to seek it out with someone, we would expect them to come with us on this journey.
But few do.
But few do.
When we express ourselves via writing, art, or conversation, we're putting ourselves out there...putting our philosophies, deepest thoughts, and vulnerabilities on display and on trial. We want to see our ideas take shape and and find application...while, at the same time, lift a weight off of our chest. We hope that what we express will resonate with someone. When we watch movies or read books and are able to see the deeper meaning, we want to reflect on those ideas with others. Or when we have deep conversations that touch so many facets of life, we discover the joy of learning from one another. It's a beautiful two-way dialogue between human beings.
But it's when our depth and expression isn't connecting with people. It's when we seek perspective and sound counsel but end up hearing the same old generics and generalities, the same surface level "stuff." We as human beings have hearts and minds that seek meaning. It's frustrating when there isn't anyone around who we feel truly understands what we're trying to say. It's like wanting to put it down a large boulder, but being surrounded by fragile, empty clay vases.
So we might think,
"If I can't relate to or get through to anyone, what's the point in even trying?"
Why not just keep our ideas to ourselves? Why not just remain in the shallow end of the pool with the others? At least there we'll have company. Sure, we can do that.
But what will happen...is that nothing will happen.
If you're finding yourself here, let me exhort you to keep living deeply. Keep searching the world out, and putting yourself out there. The fact that you question, ponder, and wonder is a sign of a longing and curious spirit, thirsty for truth in this world. The ideas and expressions that you put into the air are the substance of the profound nature that makes up a humanity longing for completion! It gives hope to others that they aren't the only ones searching and encourages them to keep doing so. There are so many who give up that fight because it's too much to handle or life and the culture have taken the best of them.
We need more people who choose to think...and by thinking, inspire. Don't give up just because there aren't many people walking with you. Seeking out truth in the depths of this world means getting down and dirty, and that may mean walking and digging alone. But there will be few diggers, fellow searchers who will join you in that pursuit, and when you finally find that treasure...it will be well worth it.
There are going to be many people we meet who genuinely won't understand where we're coming from. For them it's a disconnect because of culture, upbringing, experience or that they're in a different place or different time of life. You have the job of expounding your knowledge and insight to others by communicating and living it out, helping people grow into deeper human beings. We may not be able to get everyone to think and feel deeply, but we can at least know we're using what we've been given. For some it might take years before they begin to think or feel deeply again, but as we walk this road together, the knowledge we've acquired becomes real and more fulfilling when we've used what we know to help someone on their path.
You have been given a working mind. Develop it. Feed it. Exercise it. Use it. Don't give up because people shy away from your depth or don't understand you. Find like-minded people who share in your curiosity and desire to live to the fullest. Work on that song, that story or article, that painting, and that idea with diligence and let it go forth. Put yourselves and your ideas out there and let them get picked up by those searching and willing to work to understand.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Friday, July 18, 2014
A Philosophy of Kindness
I'm sure you've already, at some point in our life, thought to yourself, "Why be kind to a bunch of selfish jerks in a world where everyone is only looking out for themselves?" To me that's a question that, in a way, answers itself by looking at the big picture, and the answer to the problem, to some degree, lies within us.
Through the years I've observed (within myself and others) how we operate and what our natural impulses are. Why are there so many jerks in this world? After analyzing my own personal character in my day-to-day interactions, this answer came to mind: there's a jerk in all of us.
We all have agendas, things on our minds and hearts we want to say. We all have malicious thoughts and intentions, grow impatient, and make selfish choices. How much we suppress that inner jerk or let him/her out has usually depended on how kind or unkind people have been toward us.
Most of us have a very conditional sense of kindness, that we will only be kind to kind people, the ones that deserve it. It's a very human response. For every kind person we meet, we reciprocate (more or less) an equal amount of kindness, and for every unkind person we meet, we reciprocate (more or less) and equal amount of unkindness. An eye for an eye. This has been the way of the world.
Seriously think...what does our lashing back at anyone really help? Sure, we get the satisfaction of being able to tell someone off, give them a piece of our mind, what we think they deserve. But to what end and at what cost? Does this actually make things better? Debatable. I agree there are times when honesty, straightforwardness, and tough love are necessary, but even those things must be rooted in kindness. What does it say about us if all we're out to do is get even?
What we accomplish by returning unkindness is adding to the hurt, the pain, and the bitterness already floating around in the world. We give people a reason to resent us, raise suspicion in others, and continue being a jerk. Instead of helping heal the wounds caused by others and past experiences, we open them up again and cause even greater damage and pain. A few unkind words and actions may not seem like much, but at the end of the day, every day for the rest of our lives they add up, take their toll, and come back to haunt us. In the long run, our words and actions can have some lasting consequences...for better or for worse.
When we consider these things, can we see where the problem lies? How now do we see people? What about those in life who have hardly been shown an ounce of kindness? What about that bully at school who has an abusive home situation? What about cranky person who works 3 jobs with awful bosses to barely make it? What about that quiet, bitter man whose wife died 3 years ago, leaving him jaded and lonely? Their natural impulse now may be to return their pain to the world and the people around them, and sometimes that person may be us. When we lash back, we continue the cycle.
Many of us say, "Tough it out." But it will always be easier for us to say that. Isn't that our own short-sightedness talking? For us to neglect or log away the fact that other people are going through their own trials is a self-centered way of living life. "Not my problem," you say? Ok. But when we carry that attitude, we make it our problem. "They don't deserve it," you say? Do you somehow deserve it more than they do? By what standard are we measuring that?
Sometimes the most kind response to unkindness is to do or say nothing at all. This is better than doing something hurtful. Being a pacifist has it's perks and sense of honor. But there even greater acts of kindness we can live out. Ask someone questions about him/herself and show interest in their life. Pay for someone's meal or drink when they don't have enough money to do so and meet a need. Let someone have something that you really want or need, knowing they may need it more. Give a kind word of encouragement, affirmation, and affection. Be patient with people, forgive, give grace, and show mercy. Let people talk and vent. Isn't this how we'd want people to act toward us? Would we want not want people to give us grace on our "bad days?"
I'm not saying that this way of living is one that will guarantee reciprocated kindness 100% of the time in every situation. In fact, we often won't get a reaction. There are many deep-seated and complex factors and issues that affect everything. Living out kindness is truly, in a sense, a fight...against the spirit of hate around us and the nature within ourselves.
Is being kind to unkind people hard? You better believe it is. And it doesn't get any easier. The vast majority of people we meet won't change. But choosing to be kind in all situations will always be the better choice. You disarm the devices of malicious people. You break the chain of resentment that binds up the hearts of the broken. You become the catalyst for change other people's lives...starting with your own. As you choose to overcome bitterness with kindness, you'll see...over time the layer of ice around people's hearts begins to melt and the layers peel back. We'll begin to see our own walls that we put up against others begin to crumble. And we if we can continue to do this...we can open up a world of new possibilities.
We might not be able to change the world, but we can make it a better place to live in for ourselves and those around us.
Through the years I've observed (within myself and others) how we operate and what our natural impulses are. Why are there so many jerks in this world? After analyzing my own personal character in my day-to-day interactions, this answer came to mind: there's a jerk in all of us.
We all have agendas, things on our minds and hearts we want to say. We all have malicious thoughts and intentions, grow impatient, and make selfish choices. How much we suppress that inner jerk or let him/her out has usually depended on how kind or unkind people have been toward us.
Most of us have a very conditional sense of kindness, that we will only be kind to kind people, the ones that deserve it. It's a very human response. For every kind person we meet, we reciprocate (more or less) an equal amount of kindness, and for every unkind person we meet, we reciprocate (more or less) and equal amount of unkindness. An eye for an eye. This has been the way of the world.
"Kindness is loving people more than they deserve."
-Joseph Joubert-
Seriously think...what does our lashing back at anyone really help? Sure, we get the satisfaction of being able to tell someone off, give them a piece of our mind, what we think they deserve. But to what end and at what cost? Does this actually make things better? Debatable. I agree there are times when honesty, straightforwardness, and tough love are necessary, but even those things must be rooted in kindness. What does it say about us if all we're out to do is get even?
What we accomplish by returning unkindness is adding to the hurt, the pain, and the bitterness already floating around in the world. We give people a reason to resent us, raise suspicion in others, and continue being a jerk. Instead of helping heal the wounds caused by others and past experiences, we open them up again and cause even greater damage and pain. A few unkind words and actions may not seem like much, but at the end of the day, every day for the rest of our lives they add up, take their toll, and come back to haunt us. In the long run, our words and actions can have some lasting consequences...for better or for worse.
When we consider these things, can we see where the problem lies? How now do we see people? What about those in life who have hardly been shown an ounce of kindness? What about that bully at school who has an abusive home situation? What about cranky person who works 3 jobs with awful bosses to barely make it? What about that quiet, bitter man whose wife died 3 years ago, leaving him jaded and lonely? Their natural impulse now may be to return their pain to the world and the people around them, and sometimes that person may be us. When we lash back, we continue the cycle.
Many of us say, "Tough it out." But it will always be easier for us to say that. Isn't that our own short-sightedness talking? For us to neglect or log away the fact that other people are going through their own trials is a self-centered way of living life. "Not my problem," you say? Ok. But when we carry that attitude, we make it our problem. "They don't deserve it," you say? Do you somehow deserve it more than they do? By what standard are we measuring that?
"I actually think that the most efficacious way of making a difference is to lead by example,
and doing random acts of kindness is setting a very good example of how to behave in the world."
-Misha Collins-
Sometimes the most kind response to unkindness is to do or say nothing at all. This is better than doing something hurtful. Being a pacifist has it's perks and sense of honor. But there even greater acts of kindness we can live out. Ask someone questions about him/herself and show interest in their life. Pay for someone's meal or drink when they don't have enough money to do so and meet a need. Let someone have something that you really want or need, knowing they may need it more. Give a kind word of encouragement, affirmation, and affection. Be patient with people, forgive, give grace, and show mercy. Let people talk and vent. Isn't this how we'd want people to act toward us? Would we want not want people to give us grace on our "bad days?"
I'm not saying that this way of living is one that will guarantee reciprocated kindness 100% of the time in every situation. In fact, we often won't get a reaction. There are many deep-seated and complex factors and issues that affect everything. Living out kindness is truly, in a sense, a fight...against the spirit of hate around us and the nature within ourselves.
Is being kind to unkind people hard? You better believe it is. And it doesn't get any easier. The vast majority of people we meet won't change. But choosing to be kind in all situations will always be the better choice. You disarm the devices of malicious people. You break the chain of resentment that binds up the hearts of the broken. You become the catalyst for change other people's lives...starting with your own. As you choose to overcome bitterness with kindness, you'll see...over time the layer of ice around people's hearts begins to melt and the layers peel back. We'll begin to see our own walls that we put up against others begin to crumble. And we if we can continue to do this...we can open up a world of new possibilities.
We might not be able to change the world, but we can make it a better place to live in for ourselves and those around us.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
-Ephesians 4:32-
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Letting Things Grow in Time and in Season
Our mind is racing, spinning in the whirlwind of possibilities. We can hardly sleep because our ambitions, dreams, and where they are going, are constantly on the brain. Some of us are waiting, fighting for the big break, or trying to figure out where we belong. Maybe we're counting down until the long awaited wedding day, or we're still out there looking for someone to call our soulmate. Whatever the scenario, we're in high anticipation and patience is hard. The temptation to rush into things, to cut corners, and to accept something half-baked or mediocre grows in our mind. If this is you, take a moment to step back and be still. Let your heart rate slow, and breathe...
We're all waiting for something, I think. Whether it's a career gig, a relationship, an idea becoming reality, a calling, or a new chapter in life, we're eager to see it happen. It's all seems so close and but so far. We can taste it even though it's still just hypothetical. It's like we're standing at the door of a plane, ready to jump, but we still haven't put on the parachute or been advised on safety. If we rush into anything and don't let things come in their own time and season, we reap a half-ripe harvest, jaded and unhappy.
The best things in life take the proper amount of time to let themselves take root and grow...as well as the effort that we put in to help it grow.
A couple of friends of mine are big believers in watching ideas grow organically. Whatever the object, it should be allowed to take root naturally and grow in its own way and at its own pace as we watch it become what it can become. Some ideas start small but evolve into something bigger...sometimes bigger that we could have ever imagined! When we start out, we let the idea take root but shape it with an open mind, wisely allowing input, criticism, and contribution. It can turn into something intricately and ornately beautiful. It just needs time.
Some of you might be familiar with Bonzai, the Japanese art of guiding the growth of a small plant and modeling its appearance after that of a life-sized tree. The amount of dedication, thought, planning, and tending is (to me) overwhelming. How does one create such and intricately beautiful, natural, and living work of art?! Growing a bonzai tree requires wrapping wire around the stem (or "trunk") of the plant, as well as its branches, guiding its pattern of growth, pruning small leaves, and shaping where you want it to go. The result is a beautiful, intricate, miniature tree that you can hold in your hands.
Bonzai is challenging and requires an tremendous amount of patience. It's careful attention to small detail and intentionality in every modification. What if one went into an endeavor with this same exact attitude? With thought, dedication, and patient effort? The things we could create and the things we'd make of ourselves...the results would be life changing! We would have something enriching, whole, and beautiful...in it's own way. Would our standard change? Would we any longer allow rushed work and haphazard choices? We would (and should) try to eliminate such.
There is a time and place for every word, every action, and every happening. When we are able to skillfully gauge the appropriate time to act, or rest, we can watch our ambitions, dreams, and lives grow. It takes discipline, it takes prudence, and it takes courage to take risks. Life is very learn-as-you-go, so seeking out advice from more experienced people can help us plan more effectively.
The most skillful artists, successful businessmen, and good doctors understand that every choice will affect the next, every moment is part of the process, and that haphazardly jumping into anything can lead to disappointment, waste, a good of deal pain, or irrecoverable failure. The things we put in today, the little amounts of valuable time and work invested now, can have great rewards in the future. When it comes to people and impacting, our words and choices can have lifelong effect...even though we may not be around to see it. The best relationships and marriages are hours and years of being poured into, built on trust, experiences, perseverance, and commitment. It's time that develops and tests them.
Don't despair if you feel like something is going slower than it should. For all you know it's taking
the time necessary to reach its fullest potential and best form. Keep looking at all the angles and do the best with what you have now. Remember that everything works together for good and comes in its own season. Take the moments to fine tune the small details. Continue refining and mastering your craft and cultivating your relationships so that everything you do life will be the finest that it can be. These are the creations that people recognize for meticulous quality and dedication. These are relationships that will last a lifetime.
Always push further, always do better than you did yesterday, and watch yourself and the things you put your hands to grow into something wonderful. It's worth it in the end.
We're all waiting for something, I think. Whether it's a career gig, a relationship, an idea becoming reality, a calling, or a new chapter in life, we're eager to see it happen. It's all seems so close and but so far. We can taste it even though it's still just hypothetical. It's like we're standing at the door of a plane, ready to jump, but we still haven't put on the parachute or been advised on safety. If we rush into anything and don't let things come in their own time and season, we reap a half-ripe harvest, jaded and unhappy.
The best things in life take the proper amount of time to let themselves take root and grow...as well as the effort that we put in to help it grow.
A couple of friends of mine are big believers in watching ideas grow organically. Whatever the object, it should be allowed to take root naturally and grow in its own way and at its own pace as we watch it become what it can become. Some ideas start small but evolve into something bigger...sometimes bigger that we could have ever imagined! When we start out, we let the idea take root but shape it with an open mind, wisely allowing input, criticism, and contribution. It can turn into something intricately and ornately beautiful. It just needs time.
Some of you might be familiar with Bonzai, the Japanese art of guiding the growth of a small plant and modeling its appearance after that of a life-sized tree. The amount of dedication, thought, planning, and tending is (to me) overwhelming. How does one create such and intricately beautiful, natural, and living work of art?! Growing a bonzai tree requires wrapping wire around the stem (or "trunk") of the plant, as well as its branches, guiding its pattern of growth, pruning small leaves, and shaping where you want it to go. The result is a beautiful, intricate, miniature tree that you can hold in your hands.
Bonzai is challenging and requires an tremendous amount of patience. It's careful attention to small detail and intentionality in every modification. What if one went into an endeavor with this same exact attitude? With thought, dedication, and patient effort? The things we could create and the things we'd make of ourselves...the results would be life changing! We would have something enriching, whole, and beautiful...in it's own way. Would our standard change? Would we any longer allow rushed work and haphazard choices? We would (and should) try to eliminate such.
There is a time and place for every word, every action, and every happening. When we are able to skillfully gauge the appropriate time to act, or rest, we can watch our ambitions, dreams, and lives grow. It takes discipline, it takes prudence, and it takes courage to take risks. Life is very learn-as-you-go, so seeking out advice from more experienced people can help us plan more effectively.
The most skillful artists, successful businessmen, and good doctors understand that every choice will affect the next, every moment is part of the process, and that haphazardly jumping into anything can lead to disappointment, waste, a good of deal pain, or irrecoverable failure. The things we put in today, the little amounts of valuable time and work invested now, can have great rewards in the future. When it comes to people and impacting, our words and choices can have lifelong effect...even though we may not be around to see it. The best relationships and marriages are hours and years of being poured into, built on trust, experiences, perseverance, and commitment. It's time that develops and tests them.
Don't despair if you feel like something is going slower than it should. For all you know it's taking
the time necessary to reach its fullest potential and best form. Keep looking at all the angles and do the best with what you have now. Remember that everything works together for good and comes in its own season. Take the moments to fine tune the small details. Continue refining and mastering your craft and cultivating your relationships so that everything you do life will be the finest that it can be. These are the creations that people recognize for meticulous quality and dedication. These are relationships that will last a lifetime.
Always push further, always do better than you did yesterday, and watch yourself and the things you put your hands to grow into something wonderful. It's worth it in the end.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Being "That Person"
How many of us dream of being "that person?", the one that people recognize for their talents,
their quirky or interesting personality, or their good deeds done? The ones with the best one-liners, know the best places around town, are dapper, smart, and attractive? There are certainly advantages of being generally well-liked, but for many, it has become all that matters in life...that society thinks they're interesting, desirable, and exciting. And that if we can just hold on to that, keep people interested in us for as long as possible, and inch our way into a measure of fame, we'll be satisfied. This may be some us, not necessarily obsessively, but sometimes momentarily.
their quirky or interesting personality, or their good deeds done? The ones with the best one-liners, know the best places around town, are dapper, smart, and attractive? There are certainly advantages of being generally well-liked, but for many, it has become all that matters in life...that society thinks they're interesting, desirable, and exciting. And that if we can just hold on to that, keep people interested in us for as long as possible, and inch our way into a measure of fame, we'll be satisfied. This may be some us, not necessarily obsessively, but sometimes momentarily.
In those moments, what is our drive? Part of it may be the desired to feel wanted, that sense of pride, confidence, and peace with ourselves, that we are someone of value. Some of us fight for people to notice us, making it ongoing war between fellow human beings. It's become a frivolous show drenched in the spiteful, boastful, petty, envious and conceited.
Some of us may have had struggles with feeling wanted since childhood, whether because of abuse, neglect, a lack of friends due to social awkwardness, or just some X-factor we may not be able to explain. No matter what it is, it's a painful road to walk. So when people do show us attention or affection we latch on and soak it up like a sponge.
Some of us may have had struggles with feeling wanted since childhood, whether because of abuse, neglect, a lack of friends due to social awkwardness, or just some X-factor we may not be able to explain. No matter what it is, it's a painful road to walk. So when people do show us attention or affection we latch on and soak it up like a sponge.
Maybe it's about feeling needed. There is a certain kind of pride we have when people depend on us. We feel like someone important. This is the origin of men's "hero complex." We all seek validation, that we're somehow a necessary piece to the puzzle of life. You've seen people throw themselves into charities and promote some grand cause. Everyone wants to be able to say they're a good person and check off their good deed for the day. But do we get real satisfaction out of helping other people, or do it just to be perceived in a positive light?
In a world that has done well to objectify human beings, it becomes harder to discern if people's interest in us is profound or self-serving. If the extent of people's interest is for their own fleeting amusement or gratification, and when so much of our pride comes from how we're perceived, how in demand we are, and how often we come up in conversation...what happens when attention fades? What happens when someone new, different, or more interesting comes along?
We won't attract everyone. The uniqueness of our wiring means that people gravitate to a diversity of individuals and interests. Some of us might think we are (or try to be) the most interesting and clever person in the world. But the truth is that there are those this world who can pass us by without giving a second thought or care about who we are or what happens to us. In that moment, when we are ceased to be needed or talked about, even temporarily, we might begin to feel useless and worthless.Why must it come to that? Does it always have to be all about us, or are we willing to be behind the scenes and moonlit beings from time to time? What does it say about our charity and sacrifice? What does it say about who we are? Are we being selfless or self-serving?
If we struggle this much in the area of attention or being liked we should ask ourselves:
"What is it that I am measuring myself by?"
Know this: you, as a human being, have far greater and immeasurable worth than an object or spectacle. You were made for a greater and deeper purpose.
The attention and fame that people give us only lasts so long and, in the long run, will never satisfy us. Fame or popularity, like anything, has its own price. You can see it on the faces of celebrities and stars. There are days when being famous takes its toll. People whose time is in high demand understand the difficulty of balance, privacy, making time for themselves, and being with loved ones. There is much to be sacrificed living a life where you, as a person, are in high demand.
Feeling wanted and needed we naturally crave. It stems from our desires for intimacy, vulnerability, and purpose. I think what we are all seeking is just that: a feeling. We all want to feel complete, and, if possible, 100% of the time. But what everyone on the planet is actually seeking is real peace. That kind of peace won't come from being generally well-liked, being a good person on earth, and saying, "Look at all the good I've done." It's a peace that surpasses understanding, that comes from letting go of yourself, your own ambitions, any claim to fame, and putting yourself in the the hands of someone greater...someone who wants, loves, and accepts you for who you are.
So what's the point? Why go out and do what we do if no one will notice us? I'm sorry to say, but if that's the extent to which you are living your life, then you've got a very shallow, shortsighted, and self-serving outlook. There is a deeper and more fulfilling call placed on our lives. We can live full, happy, and meaningfully when we choose to let go, be the best version of ourselves, and love, not just to people we like, but all people.
Strive to be someone loving, patient, and kind. Be friendly and enthusiastic. Build yourself to be strong, wise, skillful, and reliable. Practice being truly selfless and sacrificial. This is the person who, more important than being popular, changes the world, impacts people's lives, and is the kind of individual that is both wanted and needed in society because of the value that they bring to all things.
When we get caught up in the race to be noticed, we can only keep up for so long. At the end of day and when it's all said and done, we only have ourselves and our choices. So when you look in the mirror, ask yourself:
"Am I being who I was meant to be?" ... "Do I like the person I am behind closed doors?"
This is you.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
The Good Stuff: Thoughts that Affect the Heartbeat of Our Days (Repost)
So many days we wake up dreading the days events, cringing at the idea of work, wishing it were an off day so that we can actually go out and be ourselves. Good days are a rarity that happen once in a while when we're not expecting them. But why does it have to be so? Why can't we try to make every day a great one? It's all about mindset, how we go into each day, and how we react to what life throws at us. It sounds good on paper, but it's definitely trickier in practice. Here are a just a few things that (I think) if we stop to consider before we step out the door to face the day, can change the way we look at a day...and all the days ahead:
1. Go out with an open mind.
Anything can happen and anything can change. Every day has something new to offer, so embrace the uncertainty of it all. When unexpected things happen, learn move with the changes and flow around obstacles. Go out looking to learn. We all come across dozens of people each day, and everyone has a different angle on life. In interaction with them, see what you can learn and look for nuggets of truth and wisdom. Seek to be enriched and use your discretion to weed out junk from gems.
2. Meet new people, cultivate relationships, and look for opportunities to impact.
If you haven't figured it out already, life is about relationships and people. Everything we do comes down to who we impact and influence and how we all affect one another. Embrace making new acquaintances and connections. Accept that people are human and give grace. Talk to your neighbors. Take an hour to have coffee with that person you've been wanting to learn more about. Invest in others, in friends and family, and in upcoming generations. This world has far to many interesting people for us to only be focused on ourselves. We all seek to be relational, and sometimes we need to be the ones reaching out and making the first move.
3. Do things you believe in, and give your best in all things.
This is easier said than done. Some of us work some pretty hard jobs. Some of us have crazy or rough home lives. But nothing is worse than laying down your head on your pillow at night unfulfilled and jaded, knowing you didn't try while despairing at a vicious cycle.
Find something you believe in that you can pour into. It might be a side job or hobby. Try to fit it in somewhere in your day/week so that you're doing something you resonate with. Knowing you're doing something you believe in brings worlds of satisfaction. Look for that small piece of your work you enjoy doing most and focus on that. Do the best that you can so that, at the very least, you can say that you're giving it all you've got on your end. Look for opportunities to grow, move up, or move on. Be the catalyst for change by having a higher standard. This is the mentality that will push you further and inspire the people around you.
4. Accept that some things are out of your control.
There are many things in life that we'll never be able to keep from happening, and I think we're just not meant to. I think that the key is being ok with that. If you think about it, it can be an extremely comforting...that not everything falls on us 100% of the time! With that in mind, make a conscious effort to let certain things go. Let things play out the way that they're supposed to and take things as they come. You'll be able to recognize which things you have power to change and which things you don't. Don't fret when the boulder is in front of you. Walk around it if you can, and if you can't, go a different route.
When it comes to stubborn, petty, and difficult people, let them do their thing. People are people. Don't let the bad deeds, negativity, or criticism of others dictate the way you look at and live your life. They might be limiting themselves, but they don't have to limit you!
5. Choose to be happy!
We're the original versions of ourselves, and not one person in the world is like us. Take pride in that! We've been given talents, unique personalities, and opportunities to use them. It's up to us to recognize those opportunities and cultivate those gifts. The world is ours to impact, to discover, and appreciate. We've been given a life, a day, a moment, and an array of chances. They're ours to make what we will out them. How can we not get excited at that!? Life itself is a tremendous gift...that came at a huge price paid for us. We've been given the freedom and chance to express who we are. That, friend, is a reason to be happy!
The only thing holding us back from living life to the fullest is ourselves. We can find good and joy in all circumstances. We just need to step back, look up, and around us. Dig deep and look intently and the small details of life, doing all things with intention. And most importantly of all...don't give up!
"Be strong, live happy, and love."
-John Milton-
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Not Self-Made
Why is it so hard for us, at times, to take the counsel, advice, insight, or knowledge of others?
A buddy of mine once said, "I don't presume to be better than anyone because I know that there's so much I can learn from other people." In this day and age connections are what help us to get by, so passing up on people's insight and help may be one of the unwisest things we can do.
There are so many people all around us...people who are banks knowledge and experience. Yet when those with that experience try to lend a helping hand to say "Hey, this could help you" or "Can I come alongside you in this?" we, in that moment, shut them out, push them away, and become defensive toward them. The older we get, the more prone we are to take for granted the insight of other people and get stuck in our ways. We miss out on worlds of insight that we could not acquire otherwise because of our pride, and we end up hurting ourselves when those situations arise where that insight could have helped.
That being said...is it really worth it?
As an artist and a person that has grown up in an individualistic culture, I can tell you I have had huge beef with people trying to help me. I find it hard to collaborate with people. I want to have full say in my creativity, how I go about my work, and how I express myself. There are times when caring people around me have tried to input, but I looked at it as them trying to tell me how to live, that my independence and identity was being drowned out. In reality, what was being attacked wasn't my independence or creative spirit, but my pride. Pride is such a detrimental barrier to our growth. We strive to be self-sufficient, self-made, self-, self-, self.... We are, in actuality, making ourselves less capable by closing ourselves off from those who want to help us.
As human beings self-expression and individuality are extremely important to us, and that's natural. We are all unique to ourselves. We want to be able to express the uniqueness of who we are and take pride in our personalities and gifts. It's not wrong to be independent and self-motivated. But it becomes a detriment when become self-obsessed, and too introspective. We want to able to say, "I made that," "I did this," and "I came to this realization on my own." Self-promotion is in our blood. Kudos to those who are self-taught in their endeavors. It's amazing that there are people who have enough and drive and discipline to master their art or craft without formal teaching. But we all drew our knowledge from somewhere...from outside sources. We didn't wire our brains. We didn't make the hands we use, the feet that take us where we want to go, the eyes that let us see the world, or the heart that keeps us alive. All of those are given to us...from a source. Our complexity doesn't justify a random or spontaneous event.
Didn't our foundation for learning, for being able human beings, come from those wiser, more experienced, and stronger than us? Didn't we learn how to do the simplest things from people like parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, teachers, and friends? They were the ones who showed us how to throw the ball, light the candle, write the letter, and play the note. They helped us take our first baby steps. We'd be nothing if not for the people who came before us...those who had the kindness and patience to pass along what they knew...those who rose to the top and became the inspiration for us to seek greater heights. What is so easily forgotten is the importance of community...of being in contact with people that support us, help us grow, pick us up when we fall, and broaden our understanding.
I know I'd be nothing without the parents who loved and supported, the teachers and mentors that stretched and challenged me, and the good friends that I did life with who inspired me. So much of us is made up of our experiences. We're a culmination of so many factors and choices. But the soul and the starting point for our story...was made and is made possible by the investments of other people.
Is it really so hard admit when we don't know? Is it really so hard to accept correction and guidance from those around us that are wiser, stronger, and smarter? If we can find the serenity to accept that we don't have all the answers, we've already taken a step forward. We've now made it possible for us to explore a world knowledge that we might have previously ignored. It's then that the possibilities become truly limitless.
Those of us who have gone through much, who have struggled and fought, and have turned out relatively okay (by whatever standard you measure it by) can think of a person who helped us get there. If you think - and I mean really think - about just how much has been poured out to make us who we are...it's a lifetime of debt none of us will ever be able to repay. The best thing we can do with the grace and help we've been given is accept it humbly, appreciate it, thank those who have helped us, and live. Live as a testament to those who have been a force for good in this world. Live so that their investment in you isn't vain. We can't go through life without help, and we can't go through life without people.
"Without counsel purposes are disappointed,
but in the multitude of counselors they are established."
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Downtown Greenville
The old mill building on Reedy River
A hidden spot in Falls Park. I hid away here to play guitar.
Found these flowers just sitting here. I think someone left them for me!
Los Angeles
One of the first shots I took in Downtown Los Angeles
I saw this wall and I HAD to stop! So much great wall art and graffiti in L.A.!
The bottom portion of the same wall
A bike rack outside of my Amoeba, my favorite music store
Went for a run in Azusa. It was a beautiful day for it!
One of the most interesting spots. I wonder what they use the space for?
The palms in Azusa
Downtown Atlanta - 2014
Taken at Cafe Intermezzo on Peachtree Street. Definitely one of my top five favorite coffee house restaurants!
Texas - 2013
My buddy Figaro took me around his island of Galveston
The beach at South Padre Island, McAllen, TX - in November!
Mt. Pisgah, North Carolina
View from the lodge of Mt. Pisgah
I learned the secrets of moving extremely slow to get shots of butterflies
We took a hike. And got lost. But it was ok.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Losing Friends, but Gaining Family
We hang out. We shout out. We hit each other up.
This is how we saw friendship in high school. This is how we thought it was always going to be in college, but quickly discovered that things were changing. These are the people we hoped we would still be talking to after we started our lives. And these are the people we've wondered about...where they have gone and what they are doing. These are the people we thought would always be there for us, always love and accept us, and always be there to lean on. These are the people long gone.
"What is a friend? It is a single soul dwelling in two bodies."
-Aristotle-
What makes up a friend? Someone with whom we share like interests? Someone who lets us vent out all of our problems? Someone who can give us a ride to the airport or let us crash on their couch? Is it the person who is there for all of our birthday outings, nights on the town, the person who we call when we get bored? The person we get into all our mischief with? Is it just someone we "know"? No doubt bits and pieces of these ideas are present in friendship. But are these what make up a truly good friend?
Friend - /frend/ - n.
"a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection."
How many of us just stop at the "a person we know" portion? We live in a culture that circles around who we know, and that if we know just enough about someone, we can call them our friend. But the times will come where our bonds are tested and we truly discover who our friends are...and who we are.
When you make new acquaintance with someone that you think is interesting or exciting, in the initial stages of this new connection and relationship we quickly want to be able to call them "friend." It's definitely good to have more allies than enemies, and for some of us making new friends is so rare that we scoop them up. But like any relationship of any sort, what will test the foundation of your bond is time.
We all have people we seem to fall back on. Maybe it's the college group, church group, the workmates, or the roommates. We all want to feel included and have a sense of fellowship with others. But sometimes we've got to ask ourselves...are we in the best circle? Are these the people who build us up and point us in the right direction? Are these the people who care enough about us that they point out what will potentially harm us? Do they seek our best and make us want to be better?Or are these the people we just go out and party with? Are these the people that just complain to us about life while we do the same? Do we come away from time spent with these people uplifted or bogged down? We don't usually think about it until it's begun to take it's toll on us, but we are who we spend time with.
"True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in the worth and choice."
-Ben Jonson-
You've heard it said, and it's true. It's during the hard times that we truly discover who our friends are. It's then that we discover how many of our "friends" are truly reaching out to us when we're knocked down, encouraging us, listening, guiding, or if they got what they could out of us and are done. How many of our "friendships" are purely one-sided? How often do we feel like we're the only ones pulling? How often do we still feel alone even though we have a multitude of "friends?" Friendship - true friendship - is significantly deeper...oft times even harder.
...
Friends hurt one another. Whether it's intentional or unintentional, it's just a fact. When pain comes from misunderstandings, or when we say or do something without thinking all the way through, when human nature takes the best of us, are we willing to persevere? As human beings we often times think more about how other people have wronged us and not so much about the fact that we're capable of the exact same kind of hurt. Just because we haven't wronged one another doesn't mean we can't. We, as human beings, hurt one another. It's an unfortunate, but almost inevitable, reality that comes with the territory. That's why forgiveness is so important. Forgiveness and friendship cannot exist in separate worlds.
It was then that I decided this:
Instead of worrying about how many friends I will lose or gain, I will focus on being the best kind of friend to the ones I have and the people around me.
I discovered the fact that being a friend - the active, volitional choice of befriending and caring about someone else - was entirely more fulfilling and important than being able to count how many friends I have. Instead of being upset about who wasn't giving, I chose to give. Instead of being frustrated that no one was listening, I decided to listen and show interest in the lives of others. Instead of waiting for people to reach out to me and befriend me, I decided to reach out and invest in others.
Yes, losing friends hurts. And human nature doesn't change. Therefore, I choose carefully the words I speak, I watch my actions, and make sure I can keep my promises. I want to be a strong friend for those I love and be there someone who has no friends that needs one. I want to know I'm being that friend...whether or not people are being that friend to me.
Yes, we need friends we can relate to intellectually and experientially. Those friends we'll find as we find like rare gems as we dig deep and refine coal into diamonds. It falls on us to work and search. Good friendships, like anything good, don't come easy.
Yes, losing friends hurts. And human nature doesn't change. Therefore, I choose carefully the words I speak, I watch my actions, and make sure I can keep my promises. I want to be a strong friend for those I love and be there someone who has no friends that needs one. I want to know I'm being that friend...whether or not people are being that friend to me.
Yes, we need friends we can relate to intellectually and experientially. Those friends we'll find as we find like rare gems as we dig deep and refine coal into diamonds. It falls on us to work and search. Good friendships, like anything good, don't come easy.
I have found that the friendships that I've built on the foundation of this mindset have been more fulfilling, more meaningful, closer. Because I am choosing my friends. I am getting to know the people around me and find people that I legitimately admire and respect. These are the relationships where there is truly a bond of "mutual affection." These friendships make me a better person and overcome misunderstanding and hurt. They are the bonds that I can envision lasting for the rest of my life on earth.
Is there any guarantee that I'll keep the friends I have forever? Of course not. There's always risk, there are always a multitude of things that can happen. But no one wants to be given up on, so I don't want to give up on anyone, no matter how they've wronged me or continually hurt and disappoint me. Because I know a God that calls me friend that continually loves and is there for me despite how many times I step on Him, treat Him and His name like he means nothing, stab Him in the back, and trade my affection for Him for something or someone else. The truly good friends that we've been given, love, cherish, appreciate, and thank God for the privilege of knowing. But we can look forward to the many more we can make when we step out and reach.
A person who wants friends must show himself friendly,
and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.
and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.
*photo by Paul Jacala, Copyright 2014
Saturday, May 24, 2014
We're Professional Fakers
I had met with a friend a week or so ago that I had recently reconnected with from high school. The two of us graduated the same year, both went to college, are both working...and are both in the struggle and discovery of post-grad life trying to figure out what we're called to do. The conversations we've had have been extremely beneficial for both of us in that there is always insight and understanding we gain from one another's perspective and experience, encouragement to not give up and keep searching, and comfort in the fact that someone out there has encountered the same struggles.
Somewhere in the middle of the conversation my friend stopped me and said, "Hey...can I just thank you for being honest? All the people I've been talking to lately have just seemed like they're trying to look like they're keeping it all together, so having someone be honest is really a breath of fresh air."
This is in no way meant to magnify myself. When it comes to my struggles, I'm honest...maybe too honest for my own good. And there are certainly times where I've tried to appear to be something I'm not. It's incredibly taxing. On top of that, I learned quickly that people can usually tell whether or not you're being real with them.
It got me thinking. We operate in a society of where all of us are really, really good at faking. We fake everything: enthusiasm, kindness, feelings, interest, emotions, even our personalities. Everyone wants to appear like they have it all together, everyone wants to look intelligent, innovative, creative, strong, good-hearted, and beautiful. No one wants to show what's really underneath...the struggle, the pain, the insecurity, the problems, our own brokenness...because if people really knew, would anyone accept us any longer? What would they think of us then? Everyone puts up a mask. Everyone is cryptic. Okay, maybe not everyone, but a good lot!
We all know a handful of fake people, and we all know how frustrating it is to deal with them. Many relationships become complicated or fail because somewhere down the road, we discover that someone...the person that we thought they were...is not actually who they are. There is no genuine, honest communication. Such a lifestyle only breeds suspicion and resentment.
Some people have lived this way for so long that they have become emotionally numb to anything genuine. It's so easy to lose ourselves in a persona, an alternate version of ourselves that we create to try to please and attract other people, that we forget who we really are. We work so hard to maintain it that it wears down our mind and takes a toll on our relationships. And when the slightest possibility of being found out even presents itself, some of us panic, become defensive, or maybe even angry. We can only keep the face on for so long.
I understand that many of us have trust or insecurity issues. Maybe a massive breach of trust, heartbreak, malicious criticism, judgement, or traumatizing experience has caused you to shut everyone out so that no one can hurt you. Or maybe you've been the perpetrator of such, and in realizing what you've done you don't want to hurt anyone ever again.... I'm not saying everyone should wear their heart on their sleeve, pour out their souls to random strangers, and have no filter on details of our lives that we discuss with other people. Discretion should always be used in all our interactions and dealings. It's merely and observation...that so many of us stress ourselves trying to control how people perceive us.
It might seem like a tall order, an unthinkable, insane proposal, or a daring feat to try to open up to other people. It might take time, finding a true friend that you can open your heart up to, overcoming extreme shyness or stepping out of our introvert box for a moment. In any case, I won't pretend like it will be easy for everyone. But I will say, that being genuine with the people around you is one of the most freeing and fulfilling choices you can ever make. Very rarely do you meet someone where what you see is what you get. Sometimes people's real personalities might be too straightforward, or too explicit, maybe even annoying. We all need to learn temperance. But at very least, it's better than being lying. It's better than feeling like you always have to hide. It's better than losing grasp of who you are.
Those that strive to be genuine are the ones that can help the most people. When you're real about your struggles, you never know what kind of person may come along that's struggling with the exact same thing or something similar. You may be the only person who can help them and it'll be a good thing you came along! Not only that, but someone being genuine with people, giving the hard, honest truth that they need to hear is sometimes the only way to truly help them, not a vague exhortation that leaves people confused and unchanged. It's definitely an act of humility to be able to admit our faults and make yourself vulnerable, and it's a leap to give someone the genuine truth they need to overcome a roadblock.
I'm not saying there's no risk involved, but when we let our love for others trump our pride and our fear, we'll find that being genuine is, indeed, better. I think that, ultimately, the best thing we can do for is just simply work on ourselves. When we see our short comings and are aware of our problems, why not try to change something? Why not try to solve those problems so that they're not there anymore? Then, when can we take down the mask and people can perceive us for who we really are...the better, stronger version of ourselves we were meant to be.
Somewhere in the middle of the conversation my friend stopped me and said, "Hey...can I just thank you for being honest? All the people I've been talking to lately have just seemed like they're trying to look like they're keeping it all together, so having someone be honest is really a breath of fresh air."
It got me thinking. We operate in a society of where all of us are really, really good at faking. We fake everything: enthusiasm, kindness, feelings, interest, emotions, even our personalities. Everyone wants to appear like they have it all together, everyone wants to look intelligent, innovative, creative, strong, good-hearted, and beautiful. No one wants to show what's really underneath...the struggle, the pain, the insecurity, the problems, our own brokenness...because if people really knew, would anyone accept us any longer? What would they think of us then? Everyone puts up a mask. Everyone is cryptic. Okay, maybe not everyone, but a good lot!
We all know a handful of fake people, and we all know how frustrating it is to deal with them. Many relationships become complicated or fail because somewhere down the road, we discover that someone...the person that we thought they were...is not actually who they are. There is no genuine, honest communication. Such a lifestyle only breeds suspicion and resentment.
Some people have lived this way for so long that they have become emotionally numb to anything genuine. It's so easy to lose ourselves in a persona, an alternate version of ourselves that we create to try to please and attract other people, that we forget who we really are. We work so hard to maintain it that it wears down our mind and takes a toll on our relationships. And when the slightest possibility of being found out even presents itself, some of us panic, become defensive, or maybe even angry. We can only keep the face on for so long.
I understand that many of us have trust or insecurity issues. Maybe a massive breach of trust, heartbreak, malicious criticism, judgement, or traumatizing experience has caused you to shut everyone out so that no one can hurt you. Or maybe you've been the perpetrator of such, and in realizing what you've done you don't want to hurt anyone ever again.... I'm not saying everyone should wear their heart on their sleeve, pour out their souls to random strangers, and have no filter on details of our lives that we discuss with other people. Discretion should always be used in all our interactions and dealings. It's merely and observation...that so many of us stress ourselves trying to control how people perceive us.
It might seem like a tall order, an unthinkable, insane proposal, or a daring feat to try to open up to other people. It might take time, finding a true friend that you can open your heart up to, overcoming extreme shyness or stepping out of our introvert box for a moment. In any case, I won't pretend like it will be easy for everyone. But I will say, that being genuine with the people around you is one of the most freeing and fulfilling choices you can ever make. Very rarely do you meet someone where what you see is what you get. Sometimes people's real personalities might be too straightforward, or too explicit, maybe even annoying. We all need to learn temperance. But at very least, it's better than being lying. It's better than feeling like you always have to hide. It's better than losing grasp of who you are.
Those that strive to be genuine are the ones that can help the most people. When you're real about your struggles, you never know what kind of person may come along that's struggling with the exact same thing or something similar. You may be the only person who can help them and it'll be a good thing you came along! Not only that, but someone being genuine with people, giving the hard, honest truth that they need to hear is sometimes the only way to truly help them, not a vague exhortation that leaves people confused and unchanged. It's definitely an act of humility to be able to admit our faults and make yourself vulnerable, and it's a leap to give someone the genuine truth they need to overcome a roadblock.
I'm not saying there's no risk involved, but when we let our love for others trump our pride and our fear, we'll find that being genuine is, indeed, better. I think that, ultimately, the best thing we can do for is just simply work on ourselves. When we see our short comings and are aware of our problems, why not try to change something? Why not try to solve those problems so that they're not there anymore? Then, when can we take down the mask and people can perceive us for who we really are...the better, stronger version of ourselves we were meant to be.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Thoughts for Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow
Many of us go through our days on autopilot. Not much thought, maybe to shut out the reality of where we work, the people we're around, or some hard trials we're facing. Maybe life has just become a repetitive routine, one that we cannot break or that we might be too scared to break. One way or another, days are passing, like rain drops hitting the ground. There are so many. We see them for a second, and then they're gone.
A day - 24 hours - I'm sure we've discovered, is not a long time. Hours seem to pass by, depending on what we're doing, like they were nothing at all. Just brief moments. And we only have 24 of them! Not to mention that 5-8 of them are spend on sleep and another 8-12 of them are spent on work. There's time with family and people. Then there's cooking, cleaning, hygiene, and a smattering of other responsibilities. Not a lot of time for much else. Not a lot of time for ourselves.
When we look at the gigantic ocean that is life from the perspective of one day's happenings, one days successes or one day's misfortunes, it's only natural to get depressed at life's mundaneness, despair at the idea that all we'll ever do is work, or get so hyped up about future opportunities that we all we do is "Go! Go! Go!" and we can hardly sit still.
But that's just it. Why are we measuring the breadth of our lives by just one tick on the ruler? Why are we guessing at the events of tomorrow, next, week, or next year when we're only halfway through Monday? I'm not saying that it's bad to make plans or goals for the future, or that the rough events of today aren't something we should try to overcome. But it's a foolish, self-inflicted burden we place on ourselves when we view the whole of life in single moment. We've got to remember this:
None of us are ever guaranteed tomorrow. I'm not trying to sound mystical or fatalistic. It's just a simple truth and reality that we really don't know that we'll wake up the next morning. We freak out about tomorrow's problems or groan at another sluggish day because we define it by what's happening within the moment, and by today's circumstances. Why do we do that ourselves? I think that a common mistake we all make is that we try to apply yesterday's principles to tomorrow's problems. Sure, that might work sometimes, but not always. No day is exactly the same. It may have minuscule or massive similarities, but never exactly, event for event, the same day. The only place that happens is on the Twilight Zone. So why are we trying to do it? It borders the manifestation of insanity.
Every day is a new creature, as it were. It has a whole new set of events, happenings, quirks, and is a whole new set of potential successes or failures. It is, more or less, a blank slate. This way of thinking, I understand, does not come naturally. We're either taught to think this way or begin to over time.
I'm not saying the problems of yesterday won't still be there, or that the successes we had yesterday don't count for anything. Certain kinds of consequences undoubtably carry over in life and we may have to deal with them for the rest of our lives. But these things aren't what define us. Life is what we do with those consequences. It's what we do after those victories and how we react to those misfortunes. It's how we choose to look at people in our lives and what we do in our relationships. There may be certain things that we're holding on to that are haunting our perspective: failures, unkind words and criticisms, past mistakes... These are screens that cloud our vision and steal away our motivation. With these things weighing on our minds, how can we ever expect to see, clearly, our potential day by day?
If it's what we do that defines how we look at and live out our lives, then that means we have a whole new facet of life to consider. It's been said, "Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it." One day is what you make it, who you choose be in your dealings and relationships. And when you string them all together, what is life, but a series of days? Therefore, and you've heard this said before, I'm sure... "Life is what you make it." I'm not sure what kind of hand you've been dealt in life.... Maybe you've had it very, very, very rough most of your life, and every day you're living is a certain kind of hell. That is definitely hard, and I understand life is and can be very complicated...
Or maybe life couldn't be better...you have a good job, a nice home, a wonderful family and a great group of friends. You feel like nothing could ever go wrong. I say to you: be wary. Appreciate what you have, cherish, and protect it. Life can change at the drop of a dime.
Either way, in any scenario, we choose what we do with our days. There are a dozen things that may come at us that we cannot control, but in the small moments, our choices can define how we live out each day. I'm not saying that it's not and that it won't be hard. Circumstances, cross-roads moments, freedoms that seem to be disappearing and taken away from us will definitely affect how we make our choices. Some of us don't have the luxury of an array of choices. But we always have a choice...to muscle through, to cave into pressure, to respond with love, with hate, with anger, grace, or serenity. The choice is ours. We can't undo our choices. Once we make them, we have to live with them...day by day.
So what is it you will do with the day you've been given? What are you pouring into? Who are you investing in? And are you taking time for yourself? It's not selfish or wrong. We need it. I understand that "you time" might be little to none day to day. But if you can somehow find a moment to just stop, think, pray, and appreciate...it can change the entire heartbeat of your day. The days that we have to yourself, do something meaningful with them. Take time to enjoy life a little and rest in the moment. Once this day is over, be thankful for it. And if you've been given the next, take that day and make it yours. It's what you do with it.
*photo by Paul Jacala, Copyright 2014
A day - 24 hours - I'm sure we've discovered, is not a long time. Hours seem to pass by, depending on what we're doing, like they were nothing at all. Just brief moments. And we only have 24 of them! Not to mention that 5-8 of them are spend on sleep and another 8-12 of them are spent on work. There's time with family and people. Then there's cooking, cleaning, hygiene, and a smattering of other responsibilities. Not a lot of time for much else. Not a lot of time for ourselves.
When we look at the gigantic ocean that is life from the perspective of one day's happenings, one days successes or one day's misfortunes, it's only natural to get depressed at life's mundaneness, despair at the idea that all we'll ever do is work, or get so hyped up about future opportunities that we all we do is "Go! Go! Go!" and we can hardly sit still.
But that's just it. Why are we measuring the breadth of our lives by just one tick on the ruler? Why are we guessing at the events of tomorrow, next, week, or next year when we're only halfway through Monday? I'm not saying that it's bad to make plans or goals for the future, or that the rough events of today aren't something we should try to overcome. But it's a foolish, self-inflicted burden we place on ourselves when we view the whole of life in single moment. We've got to remember this:
Today is all we have.
None of us are ever guaranteed tomorrow. I'm not trying to sound mystical or fatalistic. It's just a simple truth and reality that we really don't know that we'll wake up the next morning. We freak out about tomorrow's problems or groan at another sluggish day because we define it by what's happening within the moment, and by today's circumstances. Why do we do that ourselves? I think that a common mistake we all make is that we try to apply yesterday's principles to tomorrow's problems. Sure, that might work sometimes, but not always. No day is exactly the same. It may have minuscule or massive similarities, but never exactly, event for event, the same day. The only place that happens is on the Twilight Zone. So why are we trying to do it? It borders the manifestation of insanity.
Every day is a new creature, as it were. It has a whole new set of events, happenings, quirks, and is a whole new set of potential successes or failures. It is, more or less, a blank slate. This way of thinking, I understand, does not come naturally. We're either taught to think this way or begin to over time.
I'm not saying the problems of yesterday won't still be there, or that the successes we had yesterday don't count for anything. Certain kinds of consequences undoubtably carry over in life and we may have to deal with them for the rest of our lives. But these things aren't what define us. Life is what we do with those consequences. It's what we do after those victories and how we react to those misfortunes. It's how we choose to look at people in our lives and what we do in our relationships. There may be certain things that we're holding on to that are haunting our perspective: failures, unkind words and criticisms, past mistakes... These are screens that cloud our vision and steal away our motivation. With these things weighing on our minds, how can we ever expect to see, clearly, our potential day by day?
If it's what we do that defines how we look at and live out our lives, then that means we have a whole new facet of life to consider. It's been said, "Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it." One day is what you make it, who you choose be in your dealings and relationships. And when you string them all together, what is life, but a series of days? Therefore, and you've heard this said before, I'm sure... "Life is what you make it." I'm not sure what kind of hand you've been dealt in life.... Maybe you've had it very, very, very rough most of your life, and every day you're living is a certain kind of hell. That is definitely hard, and I understand life is and can be very complicated...
Or maybe life couldn't be better...you have a good job, a nice home, a wonderful family and a great group of friends. You feel like nothing could ever go wrong. I say to you: be wary. Appreciate what you have, cherish, and protect it. Life can change at the drop of a dime.
Either way, in any scenario, we choose what we do with our days. There are a dozen things that may come at us that we cannot control, but in the small moments, our choices can define how we live out each day. I'm not saying that it's not and that it won't be hard. Circumstances, cross-roads moments, freedoms that seem to be disappearing and taken away from us will definitely affect how we make our choices. Some of us don't have the luxury of an array of choices. But we always have a choice...to muscle through, to cave into pressure, to respond with love, with hate, with anger, grace, or serenity. The choice is ours. We can't undo our choices. Once we make them, we have to live with them...day by day.
So what is it you will do with the day you've been given? What are you pouring into? Who are you investing in? And are you taking time for yourself? It's not selfish or wrong. We need it. I understand that "you time" might be little to none day to day. But if you can somehow find a moment to just stop, think, pray, and appreciate...it can change the entire heartbeat of your day. The days that we have to yourself, do something meaningful with them. Take time to enjoy life a little and rest in the moment. Once this day is over, be thankful for it. And if you've been given the next, take that day and make it yours. It's what you do with it.
Once we learn how to number our days, we'll begin to have a heart of wisdom.
*photo by Paul Jacala, Copyright 2014
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Beauty is Broken
Call me a weird guy, but I really love weddings. I love what they signify. I love how in one place you find so much community...so much coming together to make the day one to remember. I admire the vision and dreaming that is put into them, and, when the day finally comes, the emotion, the anticipation, the joy that is finally realized in the celebration of a man and a woman becoming one. I feel like like it's one of the few things that we as human beings do best.
Days like those are so rare, so few and far between. In the midst of the chaos of life, it's the short, momentary glimpses of beauty that remind us that there things in this life still worth cherishing...still worth protecting...still worth fighting for. These are the moments that make us want to keep going... keep hoping. They make us want to see what else lies around that corner, make us want to climb to the top of the mountain and see what's on the other side. They remind us that all the struggle we face on this earth isn't all there is.
The beauty that we experience is a broken beauty. Not just because we live in a world that is flawed, tainted, and worn, but because so many of us are, on the inside, broken. Beauty is, indeed, in the eyes of the beholder. And when the heart of a beholder is broken, his eyes won't perceive the world around him the way that he's meant to perceive it. So much of what we see is distorted by our pain. And so much beauty is ruined and destroyed day by day by a variety of forces. I think the fact that we miss so much and that so much is lost is a testament to just how messed up everything really is. Every small glimpse of beauty that we see, I believe, is a gift...a sign post...a way that we're reminded and drawn back to things that are good. Many wonder about, but even less seek, the source of beauty. We seek it to capture it, to chamber it in our minds and hearts so that we can go back to it, especially in our old age. But beauty itself doesn't last. Buildings wear down, lilies and roses die, and we as human beings, our minds, our youth, our words, ideas, and passions...they all fade...as does our ability to experience and remember things once beautiful.
I love traveling and live music. There is so much of this world I have not yet seen, places that my minds eye has yet to admire. Whenever I travel somewhere I always want to be able to capture what I see. I want to able to show people what I've seen and look back on my time...I love the showmanship and energy of live concerts, the way that musicians and venues blend light and sound while telling a story, communicating an idea, or expressing an emotion. But I realize that there are certain sights and sounds, pictures and melodies that aren't meant to be experienced through a lens or a filter. It's an extremely hard thing for me to do, but sometimes it's best to just put the camera away and see the world through my own eyes...eyes that haven't yet faded that can see all the intricacies of the smallest flowers, the patters on the tree trunks, the lights of the city, and the grains of white sand through crystal blue water. It's better to just take in the words of a song, listen to the story, and let it resonate within your soul, singing it back with a hundred thousand people that, for a brief moment, you have found something in common with...even though you know that the music will soon become silence...
Whether it's spending time with someone we love, enjoying the vibrance and wonder of nature, letting our hearts get swept away by a word, a song, a dance...or saying your vows to the one that is soon to be your other half...this is the fleeting, raw beauty you cannot manufacture. When it's before you, take the moment to wonder at it, admire it, and savor it. And when it has passed, keep going. Keep hoping. Be thankful that you could experience it. The only way we can see the greatest beauty in this world is when we take our eyes off ourselves and look up. We should all seek beauty in the world without, but there is broken beauty within each of us, as well, waiting to be made whole...waiting to be brought out in its fullest for the world to be able to see. When that happens, that is the beauty in this world that does not fade.
"The grass withers and the flowers fade, the word of our God endures forever." -Isaiah 40:8-
*photos by Paul Jacala, Copyright 2014
Days like those are so rare, so few and far between. In the midst of the chaos of life, it's the short, momentary glimpses of beauty that remind us that there things in this life still worth cherishing...still worth protecting...still worth fighting for. These are the moments that make us want to keep going... keep hoping. They make us want to see what else lies around that corner, make us want to climb to the top of the mountain and see what's on the other side. They remind us that all the struggle we face on this earth isn't all there is.The beauty that we experience is a broken beauty. Not just because we live in a world that is flawed, tainted, and worn, but because so many of us are, on the inside, broken. Beauty is, indeed, in the eyes of the beholder. And when the heart of a beholder is broken, his eyes won't perceive the world around him the way that he's meant to perceive it. So much of what we see is distorted by our pain. And so much beauty is ruined and destroyed day by day by a variety of forces. I think the fact that we miss so much and that so much is lost is a testament to just how messed up everything really is. Every small glimpse of beauty that we see, I believe, is a gift...a sign post...a way that we're reminded and drawn back to things that are good. Many wonder about, but even less seek, the source of beauty. We seek it to capture it, to chamber it in our minds and hearts so that we can go back to it, especially in our old age. But beauty itself doesn't last. Buildings wear down, lilies and roses die, and we as human beings, our minds, our youth, our words, ideas, and passions...they all fade...as does our ability to experience and remember things once beautiful.
I love traveling and live music. There is so much of this world I have not yet seen, places that my minds eye has yet to admire. Whenever I travel somewhere I always want to be able to capture what I see. I want to able to show people what I've seen and look back on my time...I love the showmanship and energy of live concerts, the way that musicians and venues blend light and sound while telling a story, communicating an idea, or expressing an emotion. But I realize that there are certain sights and sounds, pictures and melodies that aren't meant to be experienced through a lens or a filter. It's an extremely hard thing for me to do, but sometimes it's best to just put the camera away and see the world through my own eyes...eyes that haven't yet faded that can see all the intricacies of the smallest flowers, the patters on the tree trunks, the lights of the city, and the grains of white sand through crystal blue water. It's better to just take in the words of a song, listen to the story, and let it resonate within your soul, singing it back with a hundred thousand people that, for a brief moment, you have found something in common with...even though you know that the music will soon become silence...
Whether it's spending time with someone we love, enjoying the vibrance and wonder of nature, letting our hearts get swept away by a word, a song, a dance...or saying your vows to the one that is soon to be your other half...this is the fleeting, raw beauty you cannot manufacture. When it's before you, take the moment to wonder at it, admire it, and savor it. And when it has passed, keep going. Keep hoping. Be thankful that you could experience it. The only way we can see the greatest beauty in this world is when we take our eyes off ourselves and look up. We should all seek beauty in the world without, but there is broken beauty within each of us, as well, waiting to be made whole...waiting to be brought out in its fullest for the world to be able to see. When that happens, that is the beauty in this world that does not fade."The grass withers and the flowers fade, the word of our God endures forever." -Isaiah 40:8-
*photos by Paul Jacala, Copyright 2014
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