Upon the Subject of Confidence

      I worked a job this past summer of 2011 where my primary duty was recruiting, running job interviews for, literally, hundreds of prospective team members to add to our growing team of representatives. The image I had to portray was that of the boss recruiter. The tough, hard to please manager that you thought was a nice guy but didn't want to cross...which was, honestly, not who I was. Nonetheless, I was called the best and one of the most intimidating interviewers that summer...and I'm only 5'4". I had to greet interviewees as they walked through the door with a firm handshake. I had to run and manage groups of 10+ people in 45-50 minute long group interviews and then tell them whether or not they've been hired for the job. But, none of those things could I have done effectively if I didn't have confidence. Confidence was the key.

      That kind of confidence was something that did not come naturally for me, by any means. I was a very shy, introverted person when I first started with the company. I gradually became less and less shy as time went on. But when my first summer as a manager hit, I had to be confident. I couldn't not be. As a manager called to lead the team, being timid wasn't an option.

      What I was like after that summer was the amazing part. I came back to college with a swagger that I never had before. I was still working for the company during school, so sometimes I had to come to school in a full suit and tie, which I rather enjoyed! I felt like there was nothing I couldn't do, and nobody I couldn't talk to! I was determined to introduce myself to as many people (especially girls) as I possibly could that semester and initiate relationships that, in the past, I might have been too shy to start, or - if I did start them - cultivate and continue. I was excited!

      And I did! I introduced myself with confidence and was able to meet some pretty amazing people. I wasn't afraid of what they thought. I focused on getting to know them, while at the same time, being secure and proud of being me! Looking back, I'm not sure that I would know some of the people that I do now or with the level of intimacy with them that I do if I didn't have that confidence. Sure, I don't always emulate that confidence perfectly one-hundred percent of the time (Wish I did. Does anyone?). But my confidence is now at a level that far exceeds where it was at two years ago. I'm able to talk to people more fluently and naturally. I'm still a pretty chill person (I think), but I'm not as afraid to bring out my goofy/talkative side. It's the moments where I get too worried about what people think of me that I get tongue tied and awkward. So, I just determine not to think about/be that way anymore! I am who I am. Why should I ever be ashamed of that?

      I think that people really underestimate how much of an important role confidence plays in everything. It helps us in job interviews. It changes the mood of conversations. It makes us more credible when we're asked for explanations. And it puts people at ease when we're in a position of leadership, especially when leading a family. Confidence really makes a big difference! I want to be a teacher one day, and my level of confidence is going to make a huge difference when it comes to how I'm going to set the tone, establish authority, and relate to my students in the classroom. Confidence is going to be an essential trait!

      So in the words of one of my former managers, "Just be confident!" Confidence is something you can choose to have. And the more you choose to have it, the more naturally it will come! It will make a huge difference in every walk of life, as well as your outlook on it! So, be confident...and live!

The Whole "Waiting For the Right Person" Thing

Hey, folks.    

      So more than ever, I admit, I find myself desiring that whole "best girl friend I can go to/want to go to at the end of the day" relationship. I read the Hunger Games recently, and you can see that type in Katniss, the protagonist, and Gale, her best friend. The type of relationship that comes so natural and is extremely intimate. And though neither of them admits it, they're secretly desirous of each other. We see so much of that in movies, shows, books, etc. I don't know where you guys are at, but many of my friends are getting married/engaged to the woman or man they call their best friend. One of my friends recently got engaged. I know both him and his fiance personally and love how their personalities gel with each other. It really makes me want that relationship, the more I see it.

      The thing is, it's easy for me to want that relationship because I want...the relationship. I want to be able to vent my day and all the happenings of it to somebody. I want to know I can lean on someone and they're cheering me on. I want someone who will listen to my ideas, philosophies, and troubles. But, am I necessarily caring about that person or who they are? Do I just want the relationship for the benefits of it? Maybe it's an ego booster for me.

      What I'm learning is that...I just need to be living life. One day at a time, enjoying the relationships that have been given to me. I have friends, family, and people I come into contact with every day. These people all need love, attention, a listening ear, and help from time to time as well. They all have something to share, something I can learn from. They all have problems. They all have some days that are rough. They all have philosophies and stories they want to share. Why not learn about them? Why not learn about other people? They're people too, right?

     Besides, the person that I should end up with should be someone that I'm genuinely interested in. Not how they make me feel, or what they give to me, but what I like/love about them. Their character, their goals, their interests, their ambitions, their philosophies, and their dreams. Someone I can enjoy listening to and talking to. I want to admire them, not just adore them. Look up to them in some ways, even. And the more I learn about her, the more I love her, the more I never want to be apart from her. And from there...I tell her how I feel, and hope/wish she feels the same way. That they take the same interest in me. (It's really that simple. Why is this so complicated for some people?)

      So my point is...I can wait for that. I don't need it to come immediately. I, or anyone, shouldn't rush into it when I do find it. It's something I'll want to cherish. It's something that I will have no shadow of a doubt of when I find it. So until then, I need to reflect on who I am, and fight to be the right kind of person. The person people would want to know. Someone with character, with traits, hopes, and ambitions they can respect. That way I'll be the best version of myself for that girl. The one that I fit with best. Then the two of us can impact, give to, and change the lives of others around us together, hand-in-hand. In the meantime, I'll enjoy the relationships I have with my family and with my friends as I strive to reach my dreams and help those around me.

I hope you all find someone like that. Until then, keep enjoying life and love everyone!

Why I Started This Blog

      Hey folks!

I started this blog on the account that there is a whole world out there full of thought, controversy, philosophy, heart, mind, soul, and just raw curiosity. I love getting out my thoughts and I think that communication and talking about things is the a great way to let people know where you're at and figure out where other people are at. I love talking about what I learn and have an open ear. I hope that stopping by and reading here people will be able to be who there are, express how they feel, and take something away too. We all have a life to live and it's we all want to shout out something as well as want something to hold on to along the way. So basically, I wanna tell you who I am and I wanna know who you are. What are your experiences, interests, philosophies? Talk to me!!!

Much love,

Paul