Being "That Person"

        How many of us dream of being "that person?", the one that people recognize for their talents,
their quirky or interesting personality, or their good deeds done? The ones with the best one-liners, know the best places around town, are dapper, smart, and attractive? There are certainly advantages of being generally well-liked, but for many, it has become all that matters in life...that society thinks they're interesting, desirable, and exciting. And that if we can just hold on to that, keep people interested in us for as long as possible, and inch our way into a measure of fame, we'll be satisfied. This may be some us, not necessarily obsessively, but sometimes momentarily.
       

        In those moments, what is our drive? Part of it may be the desired to feel wanted, that sense of pride, confidence, and peace with ourselves, that we are someone of value. Some of us fight for people to notice us, making it ongoing war between fellow human beings. It's become a frivolous show drenched in the spiteful, boastful, petty, envious and conceited.
        Some of us may have had struggles with feeling wanted since childhood, whether because of abuse, neglect, a lack of friends due to social awkwardness, or just some X-factor we may not be able to explain. No matter what it is, it's a painful road to walk. So when people do show us attention or affection we latch on and soak it up like a sponge. 

        Maybe it's about feeling needed. There is a certain kind of pride we have when people depend on us. We feel like someone important. This is the origin of men's "hero complex." We all seek validation, that we're somehow a necessary piece to the puzzle of life. You've seen people throw themselves into charities and promote some grand cause. Everyone wants to be able to say they're a good person and check off their good deed for the day. But do we get real satisfaction out of helping other people, or do it just to be perceived in a positive light?

       In a world that has done well to objectify human beings, it becomes harder to discern if people's interest in us is profound or self-serving. If the extent of people's interest is for their own fleeting amusement or gratification, and when so much of our pride comes from how we're perceived, how in demand we are, and how often we come up in conversation...what happens when attention fades? What happens when someone new, different, or more interesting comes along?

       We won't attract everyone. The uniqueness of our wiring means that people gravitate to a diversity of individuals and interests. Some of us might think we are (or try to be) the most interesting and clever person in the world. But the truth is that there are those this world who can pass us by without giving a second thought or care about who we are or what happens to us. In that moment, when we are ceased to be needed or talked about, even temporarily, we might begin to feel useless and worthless.

        Why must it come to that? Does it always have to be all about us, or are we willing to be behind the scenes and moonlit beings from time to time? What does it say about our charity and sacrifice? What does it say about who we are? Are we being selfless or self-serving?

        If we struggle this much in the area of attention or being liked we should ask ourselves:

"What is it that I am measuring myself by?"

        Know this: you, as a human being, have far greater and immeasurable worth than an object or spectacle. You were made for a greater and deeper purpose.

        The attention and fame that people give us only lasts so long and, in the long run, will never satisfy us. Fame or popularity, like anything, has its own price. You can see it on the faces of celebrities and stars. There are days when being famous takes its toll. People whose time is in high demand understand the difficulty of balance, privacy, making time for themselves, and being with loved ones. There is much to be sacrificed living a life where you, as a person, are in high demand.

        Feeling wanted and needed we naturally crave. It stems from our desires for intimacy, vulnerability, and purpose. I think what we are all seeking is just that: a feeling. We all want to feel complete, and, if possible, 100% of the time. But what everyone on the planet is actually seeking is real peace. That kind of peace won't come from being generally well-liked, being a good person on earth, and saying, "Look at all the good I've done." It's a peace that surpasses understanding, that comes from letting go of yourself, your own ambitions, any claim to fame, and putting yourself in the the hands of someone greater...someone who wants, loves, and accepts you for who you are.

        So what's the point? Why go out and do what we do if no one will notice us? I'm sorry to say, but if that's the extent to which you are living your life, then you've got a very shallow, shortsighted, and self-serving outlook. There is a deeper and more fulfilling call placed on our lives. We can live full, happy, and meaningfully when we choose to let go, be the best version of ourselves, and love, not just to people we like, but all people.
        Strive to be someone loving, patient, and kind. Be friendly and enthusiastic. Build yourself to be strong, wise, skillful, and reliable. Practice being truly selfless and sacrificial. This is the person who, more important than being popular, changes the world, impacts people's lives, and is the kind of individual that is both wanted and needed in society because of the value that they bring to all things.

          When we get caught up in the race to be noticed, we can only keep up for so long. At the end of day and when it's all said and done, we only have ourselves and our choices. So when you look in the mirror, ask yourself:

"Am I being who I was meant to be?" ... "Do I like the person I am behind closed doors?"

This is you.