Striving for Depth

        We live in a culture that flaunts the skin deep and tries to keep things surface level because it feels good and makes itself seem intelligent. Not many think about the ins and outs of how this world turns and try to get to the heart of the problems. They're looking to be entertained, distracted and are willing to accept whatever fabricated popular idea that floats around as true. When we question it or try to delve deeper into an issue, people turn off, dismiss us, or it might go way over their heads. It's like trying to dig for treasure with someone, but when you start breaking ground they decide they want to play with a ping pong paddle instead.

        

        If we wanted to search out the truth of things and live deeply, we wouldn't want to do it alone. And if we offered to seek it out with someone, we would expect them to come with us on this journey.
But few do.

        When we express ourselves via writing, art, or conversation, we're putting ourselves out there...putting our philosophies, deepest thoughts, and vulnerabilities on display and on trial. We want to see our ideas take shape and and find application...while, at the same time, lift a weight off of our chest. We hope that what we express will resonate with someone. When we watch movies or read books and are able to see the deeper meaning, we want to reflect on those ideas with others. Or when we have deep conversations that touch so many facets of life, we discover the joy of learning from one another. It's a beautiful two-way dialogue between human beings.

         But it's when our depth and expression isn't connecting with people. It's when we seek perspective and sound counsel but end up hearing the same old generics and generalities, the same surface level "stuff." We as human beings have hearts and minds that seek meaning. It's frustrating when there isn't anyone around who we feel truly understands what we're trying to say. It's like wanting to put it down a large boulder, but being surrounded by fragile, empty clay vases.

      So we might think, 

        "If I can't relate to or get through to anyone, what's the point in even trying?"

         Why not just keep our ideas to ourselves? Why not just remain in the shallow end of the pool with the others? At least there we'll have company. Sure, we can do that. 

But what will happen...is that nothing will happen. 

         Our ideas and expressions will collect dust and get lost in busyness and old age. We begin to be content with our complacency. We will become numb to new ideas and possibilities that present themselves. We end up leaving a world unexplored, a mind un-exercised, and a heart left empty while it cries out for something more. We end up filling our minds with all the wrong things until it can no longer discern between the good and useless. Then suddenly we begin to look, feel, and think like everybody else. This isn't what we were meant for.

         If you're finding yourself here, let me exhort you to keep living deeply. Keep searching the world out, and putting yourself out there. The fact that you question, ponder, and wonder is a sign of a longing and curious spirit, thirsty for truth in this world. The ideas and expressions that you put into the air are the substance of the profound nature that makes up a humanity longing for completion! It gives hope to others that they aren't the only ones searching and encourages them to keep doing so. There are so many who give up that fight because it's too much to handle or life and the culture have taken the best of them.

         We need more people who choose to think...and by thinking, inspire. Don't give up just because there aren't many people walking with you. Seeking out truth in the depths of this world means getting down and dirty, and that may mean walking and digging alone. But there will be few diggers, fellow searchers who will join you in that pursuit, and when you finally find that treasure...it will be well worth it.

        There are going to be many people we meet who genuinely won't understand where we're coming from. For them it's a disconnect because of culture, upbringing, experience or that they're in a different place or different time of life. You have the job of expounding your knowledge and insight to others by communicating and living it out, helping people grow into deeper human beings. We may not be able to get everyone to think and feel deeply, but we can at least know we're using what we've been given. For some it might take years before they begin to think or feel deeply again, but as we walk this road together, the knowledge we've acquired becomes real and more fulfilling when we've used what we know to help someone on their path.

        You have been given a working mind. Develop it. Feed it. Exercise it. Use it. Don't give up because people shy away from your depth or don't understand you. Find like-minded people who share in your curiosity and desire to live to the fullest. Work on that song, that story or article, that painting, and that idea with diligence and let it go forth. Put yourselves and your ideas out there and let them get picked up by those searching and willing to work to understand.

A Philosophy of Kindness

        I'm sure you've already, at some point in our life, thought to yourself, "Why be kind to a bunch of selfish jerks in a world where everyone is only looking out for themselves?" To me that's a question that, in a way, answers itself by looking at the big picture, and the answer to the problem, to some degree, lies within us.

        Through the years I've observed (within myself and others) how we operate and what our natural impulses are. Why are there so many jerks in this world? After analyzing my own personal character in my day-to-day interactions, this answer came to mind: there's a jerk in all of us.

        We all have agendas, things on our minds and hearts we want to say. We all have malicious thoughts and intentions, grow impatient, and make selfish choices. How much we suppress that inner jerk or let him/her out has usually depended on how kind or unkind people have been toward us.

        Most of us have a very conditional sense of kindness, that we will only be kind to kind people, the ones that deserve it. It's a very human response. For every kind person we meet, we reciprocate (more or less) an equal amount of kindness, and for every unkind person we meet, we reciprocate (more or less) and equal amount of unkindness. An eye for an eye. This has been the way of the world.

"Kindness is loving people more than they deserve."

-Joseph Joubert-

       Seriously think...what does our lashing back at anyone really help? Sure, we get the satisfaction of being able to tell someone off, give them a piece of our mind, what we think they deserve. But to what end and at what cost? Does this actually make things better? Debatable. I agree there are times when honesty, straightforwardness, and tough love are necessary, but even those things must be rooted in kindness. What does it say about us if all we're out to do is get even?

        What we accomplish by returning unkindness is adding to the hurt, the pain, and the bitterness already floating around in the world. We give people a reason to resent us, raise suspicion in others, and continue being a jerk. Instead of helping heal the wounds caused by others and past experiences, we open them up again and cause even greater damage and pain. A few unkind words and actions may not seem like much, but at the end of the day, every day for the rest of our lives they add up, take their toll, and come back to haunt us. In the long run, our words and actions can have some lasting consequences...for better or for worse.

        When we consider these things, can we see where the problem lies? How now do we see people? What about those in life who have hardly been shown an ounce of kindness? What about that bully at school who has an abusive home situation? What about cranky person who works 3 jobs with awful bosses to barely make it? What about that quiet, bitter man whose wife died 3 years ago, leaving him jaded and lonely? Their natural impulse now may be to return their pain to the world and the people around them, and sometimes that person may be us. When we lash back, we continue the cycle.

        Many of us say, "Tough it out." But it will always be easier for us to say that. Isn't that our own short-sightedness talking? For us to neglect or log away the fact that other people are going through their own trials is a self-centered way of living life. "Not my problem," you say? Ok. But when we carry that attitude, we make it our problem. "They don't deserve it," you say? Do you somehow deserve it more than they do? By what standard are we measuring that?

"I actually think that the most efficacious way of making a difference is to lead by example, 

and doing random acts of kindness is setting a very good example of how to behave in the world."

-Misha Collins-

        Sometimes the most kind response to unkindness is to do or say nothing at all. This is better than doing something hurtful. Being a pacifist has it's perks and sense of honor. But there even greater acts of kindness we can live out. Ask someone questions about him/herself and show interest in their life. Pay for someone's meal or drink when they don't have enough money to do so and meet a need. Let someone have something that you really want or need, knowing they may need it more. Give a kind word of encouragement, affirmation, and affection. Be patient with people, forgive, give grace, and show mercy. Let people talk and vent. Isn't this how we'd want people to act toward us? Would we want not want people to give us grace on our "bad days?"

       I'm not saying that this way of living is one that will guarantee reciprocated kindness 100% of the time in every situation. In fact, we often won't get a reaction. There are many deep-seated and complex factors and issues that affect everything. Living out kindness is truly, in a sense, a fight...against the spirit of hate around us and the nature within ourselves.

       Is being kind to unkind people hard? You better believe it is. And it doesn't get any easier. The vast majority of people we meet won't change. But choosing to be kind in all situations will always be the better choice. You disarm the devices of malicious people. You break the chain of resentment that binds up the hearts of the broken. You become the catalyst for change other people's lives...starting with your own. As you choose to overcome bitterness with kindness, you'll see...over time the layer of ice around people's hearts begins to melt and the layers peel back. We'll begin to see our own walls that we put up against others begin to crumble. And we if we can continue to do this...we can open up a world of new possibilities.

       We might not be able to change the world, but we can make it a better place to live in for ourselves and those around us.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

-Ephesians 4:32-

Letting Things Grow in Time and in Season

        Our mind is racing, spinning in the whirlwind of possibilities. We can hardly sleep because our ambitions, dreams, and where they are going, are constantly on the brain. Some of us are waiting, fighting for the big break, or trying to figure out where we belong. Maybe we're counting down until the long awaited wedding day, or we're still out there looking for someone to call our soulmate. Whatever the scenario, we're in high anticipation and patience is hard. The temptation to rush into things, to cut corners, and to accept something half-baked or mediocre grows in our mind. If this is you, take a moment to step back and be still. Let your heart rate slow, and breathe...

        We're all waiting for something, I think. Whether it's a career gig, a relationship, an idea becoming reality, a calling, or a new chapter in life, we're eager to see it happen. It's all seems so close and but so far. We can taste it even though it's still just hypothetical. It's like we're standing at the door of a plane, ready to jump, but we still haven't put on the parachute or been advised on safety. If we rush into anything and don't let things come in their own time and season, we reap a half-ripe harvest, jaded and unhappy.
        The best things in life take the proper amount of time to let themselves take root and grow...as well as the effort that we put in to help it grow.

        A couple of friends of mine are big believers in watching ideas grow organically. Whatever the object, it should be allowed to take root naturally and grow in its own way and at its own pace as we watch it become what it can become. Some ideas start small but evolve into something bigger...sometimes bigger that we could have ever imagined! When we start out, we let the idea take root but shape it with an open mind, wisely allowing input, criticism, and contribution. It can turn into something intricately and ornately beautiful. It just needs time.

        Some of you might be familiar with Bonzai, the Japanese art of guiding the growth of a small plant and modeling its appearance after that of a life-sized tree. The amount of dedication, thought, planning, and tending is (to me) overwhelming. How does one create such and intricately beautiful, natural, and living work of art?! Growing a bonzai tree requires wrapping wire around the stem (or "trunk") of the plant, as well as its branches, guiding its pattern of growth, pruning small leaves, and shaping where you want it to go. The result is a beautiful, intricate, miniature tree that you can hold in your hands.

        Bonzai is challenging and requires an tremendous amount of patience. It's careful attention to small detail and intentionality in every modification. What if one went into an endeavor with this same exact attitude? With thought, dedication, and patient effort? The things we could create and the things we'd make of ourselves...the results would be life changing! We would have something enriching, whole, and beautiful...in it's own way. Would our standard change? Would we any longer allow rushed work and haphazard choices? We would (and should) try to eliminate such.

        There is a time and place for every word, every action, and every happening. When we are able to skillfully gauge the appropriate time to act, or rest, we can watch our ambitions, dreams, and lives grow. It takes discipline, it takes prudence, and it takes courage to take risks. Life is very learn-as-you-go, so seeking out advice from more experienced people can help us plan more effectively.

        The most skillful artists, successful businessmen, and good doctors understand that every choice will affect the next, every moment is part of the process, and that haphazardly jumping into anything can lead to disappointment, waste, a good of deal pain, or irrecoverable failure. The things we put in today, the little amounts of valuable time and work invested now, can have great rewards in the future. When it comes to people and impacting, our words and choices can have lifelong effect...even though we may not be around to see it. The best relationships and marriages are hours and years of being poured into, built on trust, experiences, perseverance, and commitment. It's time that develops and tests them.

        Don't despair if you feel like something is going slower than it should. For all you know it's taking
the time necessary to reach its fullest potential and best form. Keep looking at all the angles and do the best with what you have now. Remember that everything works together for good and comes in its own season. Take the moments to fine tune the small details. Continue refining and mastering your craft and cultivating your relationships so that everything you do life will be the finest that it can be. These are the creations that people recognize for meticulous quality and dedication. These are relationships that will last a lifetime.
        Always push further, always do better than you did yesterday, and watch yourself and the things you put your hands to grow into something wonderful. It's worth it in the end.

The Good Stuff: Thoughts that Affect the Heartbeat of Our Days (Repost)

        So many days we wake up dreading the days events, cringing at the idea of work, wishing it were an off day so that we can actually go out and be ourselves. Good days are a rarity that happen once in a while when we're not expecting them. But why does it have to be so? Why can't we try to make every day a great one? It's all about mindset, how we go into each day, and how we react to what life throws at us. It sounds good on paper, but it's definitely trickier in practice. Here are a just a few things that (I think) if we stop to consider before we step out the door to face the day, can change the way we look at a day...and all the days ahead:

1. Go out with an open mind.

        Anything can happen and anything can change. Every day has something new to offer, so embrace the uncertainty of it all. When unexpected things happen, learn move with the changes and flow around obstacles. Go out looking to learn. We all come across dozens of people each day, and everyone has a different angle on life. In interaction with them, see what you can learn and look for nuggets of truth and wisdom. Seek to be enriched and use your discretion to weed out junk from gems.

2. Meet new people, cultivate relationships, and look for opportunities to impact.

        If you haven't figured it out already, life is about relationships and people. Everything we do comes down to who we impact and influence and how we all affect one another. Embrace making new acquaintances and connections. Accept that people are human and give grace. Talk to your neighbors. Take an hour to have coffee with that person you've been wanting to learn more about. Invest in others, in friends and family, and in upcoming generations. This world has far to many interesting people for us to only be focused on ourselves. We all seek to be relational, and sometimes we need to be the ones reaching out and making the first move.

3. Do things you believe in, and give your best in all things.

        This is easier said than done. Some of us work some pretty hard jobs. Some of us have crazy or rough home lives. But nothing is worse than laying down your head on your pillow at night unfulfilled and jaded, knowing you didn't try while despairing at a vicious cycle. 

        Find something you believe in that you can pour into. It might be a side job or hobby. Try to fit it in somewhere in your day/week so that you're doing something you resonate with. Knowing you're doing something you believe in brings worlds of satisfaction. Look for that small piece of your work you enjoy doing most and focus on that. Do the best that you can so that, at the very least, you can say that you're giving it all you've got on your end. Look for opportunities to grow, move up, or move on. Be the catalyst for change by having a higher standard. This is the mentality that will push you further and inspire the people around you.

4. Accept that some things are out of your control.

        There are many things in life that we'll never be able to keep from happening, and I think we're just not meant to. I think that the key is being ok with that. If you think about it, it can be an extremely comforting...that not everything falls on us 100% of the time! With that in mind, make a conscious effort to let certain things go. Let things play out the way that they're supposed to and take things as they come. You'll be able to recognize which things you have power to change and which things you don't. Don't fret when the boulder is in front of you. Walk around it if you can, and if you can't, go a different route. 

        When it comes to stubborn, petty, and difficult people, let them do their thing. People are people. Don't let the bad deeds, negativity, or criticism of others dictate the way you look at and live your life. They might be limiting themselves, but they don't have to limit you! 

5. Choose to be happy!

         We're the original versions of ourselves, and not one person in the world is like us. Take pride in that! We've been given talents, unique personalities, and opportunities to use them. It's up to us to recognize those opportunities and cultivate those gifts. The world is ours to impact, to discover, and appreciate. We've been given a life, a day, a moment, and an array of chances. They're ours to make what we will out them. How can we not get excited at that!? Life itself is a tremendous gift...that came at a huge price paid for us. We've been given the freedom and chance to express who we are. That, friend, is a reason to be happy! 

         The only thing holding us back from living life to the fullest is ourselves. We can find good and joy in all circumstances. We just need to step back, look up, and around us. Dig deep and look intently and the small details of life, doing all things with intention. And most importantly of all...don't give up! 

"Be strong, live happy, and love." 

-John Milton-