A buddy of mine once said, "I don't presume to be better than anyone because I know that there's so much I can learn from other people." In this day and age connections are what help us to get by, so passing up on people's insight and help may be one of the unwisest things we can do.
There are so many people all around us...people who are banks knowledge and experience. Yet when those with that experience try to lend a helping hand to say "Hey, this could help you" or "Can I come alongside you in this?" we, in that moment, shut them out, push them away, and become defensive toward them. The older we get, the more prone we are to take for granted the insight of other people and get stuck in our ways. We miss out on worlds of insight that we could not acquire otherwise because of our pride, and we end up hurting ourselves when those situations arise where that insight could have helped.
That being said...is it really worth it?
As an artist and a person that has grown up in an individualistic culture, I can tell you I have had huge beef with people trying to help me. I find it hard to collaborate with people. I want to have full say in my creativity, how I go about my work, and how I express myself. There are times when caring people around me have tried to input, but I looked at it as them trying to tell me how to live, that my independence and identity was being drowned out. In reality, what was being attacked wasn't my independence or creative spirit, but my pride. Pride is such a detrimental barrier to our growth. We strive to be self-sufficient, self-made, self-, self-, self.... We are, in actuality, making ourselves less capable by closing ourselves off from those who want to help us.
As human beings self-expression and individuality are extremely important to us, and that's natural. We are all unique to ourselves. We want to be able to express the uniqueness of who we are and take pride in our personalities and gifts. It's not wrong to be independent and self-motivated. But it becomes a detriment when become self-obsessed, and too introspective. We want to able to say, "I made that," "I did this," and "I came to this realization on my own." Self-promotion is in our blood. Kudos to those who are self-taught in their endeavors. It's amazing that there are people who have enough and drive and discipline to master their art or craft without formal teaching. But we all drew our knowledge from somewhere...from outside sources. We didn't wire our brains. We didn't make the hands we use, the feet that take us where we want to go, the eyes that let us see the world, or the heart that keeps us alive. All of those are given to us...from a source. Our complexity doesn't justify a random or spontaneous event.
Didn't our foundation for learning, for being able human beings, come from those wiser, more experienced, and stronger than us? Didn't we learn how to do the simplest things from people like parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, teachers, and friends? They were the ones who showed us how to throw the ball, light the candle, write the letter, and play the note. They helped us take our first baby steps. We'd be nothing if not for the people who came before us...those who had the kindness and patience to pass along what they knew...those who rose to the top and became the inspiration for us to seek greater heights. What is so easily forgotten is the importance of community...of being in contact with people that support us, help us grow, pick us up when we fall, and broaden our understanding.
I know I'd be nothing without the parents who loved and supported, the teachers and mentors that stretched and challenged me, and the good friends that I did life with who inspired me. So much of us is made up of our experiences. We're a culmination of so many factors and choices. But the soul and the starting point for our story...was made and is made possible by the investments of other people.
Is it really so hard admit when we don't know? Is it really so hard to accept correction and guidance from those around us that are wiser, stronger, and smarter? If we can find the serenity to accept that we don't have all the answers, we've already taken a step forward. We've now made it possible for us to explore a world knowledge that we might have previously ignored. It's then that the possibilities become truly limitless.
Those of us who have gone through much, who have struggled and fought, and have turned out relatively okay (by whatever standard you measure it by) can think of a person who helped us get there. If you think - and I mean really think - about just how much has been poured out to make us who we are...it's a lifetime of debt none of us will ever be able to repay. The best thing we can do with the grace and help we've been given is accept it humbly, appreciate it, thank those who have helped us, and live. Live as a testament to those who have been a force for good in this world. Live so that their investment in you isn't vain. We can't go through life without help, and we can't go through life without people.
"Without counsel purposes are disappointed,
but in the multitude of counselors they are established."
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