Thoughts for Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

        Many of us go through our days on autopilot. Not much thought, maybe to shut out the reality of where we work, the people we're around, or some hard trials we're facing. Maybe life has just become a repetitive routine, one that we cannot break or that we might be too scared to break. One way or another, days are passing, like rain drops hitting the ground. There are so many. We see them for a second, and then they're gone.

        A day - 24 hours - I'm sure we've discovered, is not a long time. Hours seem to pass by, depending on what we're doing, like they were nothing at all. Just brief moments. And we only have 24 of them! Not to mention that 5-8 of them are spend on sleep and another 8-12 of them are spent on work. There's time with family and people. Then there's cooking, cleaning, hygiene, and a smattering of other responsibilities. Not a lot of time for much else. Not a lot of time for ourselves.

        When we look at the gigantic ocean that is life from the perspective of one day's happenings, one days successes or one day's misfortunes, it's only natural to get depressed at life's mundaneness, despair at the idea that all we'll ever do is work, or get so hyped up about future opportunities that we all we do is "Go! Go! Go!" and we can hardly sit still.
        But that's just it. Why are we measuring the breadth of our lives by just one tick on the ruler? Why are we guessing at the events of tomorrow, next, week, or next year when we're only halfway through Monday? I'm not saying that it's bad to make plans or goals for the future, or that the rough events of today aren't something we should try to overcome. But it's a foolish, self-inflicted burden we place on ourselves when we view the whole of life in single moment. We've got to remember this:

Today is all we have.

        None of us are ever guaranteed tomorrow. I'm not trying to sound mystical or fatalistic. It's just a simple truth and reality that we really don't know that we'll wake up the next morning. We freak out about tomorrow's problems or groan at another sluggish day because we define it by what's happening within the moment, and by today's circumstances. Why do we do that ourselves? I think that a common mistake we all make is that we try to apply yesterday's principles to tomorrow's problems. Sure, that might work sometimes, but not always. No day is exactly the same. It may have minuscule or massive similarities, but never exactly, event for event, the same day. The only place that happens is on the Twilight Zone. So why are we trying to do it? It borders the manifestation of insanity.

        Every day is a new creature, as it were. It has a whole new set of events, happenings, quirks, and is a whole new set of potential successes or failures. It is, more or less, a blank slate. This way of thinking, I understand, does not come naturally. We're either taught to think this way or begin to over time.
        I'm not saying the problems of yesterday won't still be there, or that the successes we had yesterday don't count for anything. Certain kinds of consequences undoubtably carry over in life and we may have to deal with them for the rest of our lives. But these things aren't what define us. Life is what we do with those consequences. It's what we do after those victories and how we react to those misfortunes. It's how we choose to look at people in our lives and what we do in our relationships. There may be certain things that we're holding on to that are haunting our perspective: failures, unkind words and criticisms, past mistakes... These are screens that cloud our vision and steal away our motivation. With these things weighing on our minds, how can we ever expect to see, clearly, our potential day by day?

        If it's what we do that defines how we look at and live out our lives, then that means we have a whole new facet of life to consider. It's been said, "Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it." One day is what you make it, who you choose be in your dealings and relationships. And when you string them all together, what is life, but a series of days? Therefore, and you've heard this said before, I'm sure... "Life is what you make it." I'm not sure what kind of hand you've been dealt in life.... Maybe you've had it very, very, very rough most of your life, and every day you're living is a certain kind of hell. That is definitely hard, and I understand life is and can be very complicated...
        Or maybe life couldn't be better...you have a good job, a nice home, a wonderful family and a great group of friends. You feel like nothing could ever go wrong. I say to you: be wary. Appreciate what you have, cherish, and protect it. Life can change at the drop of a dime.

         Either way, in any scenario, we choose what we do with our days. There are a dozen things that may come at us that we cannot control, but in the small moments, our choices can define how we live out each day. I'm not saying that it's not and that it won't be hard. Circumstances, cross-roads moments, freedoms that seem to be disappearing and taken away from us will definitely affect how we make our choices. Some of us don't have the luxury of an array of choices. But we always have a choice...to muscle through, to cave into pressure, to respond with love, with hate, with anger, grace, or serenity. The choice is ours. We can't undo our choices. Once we make them, we have to live with them...day by day.

        So what is it you will do with the day you've been given? What are you pouring into? Who are you investing in? And are you taking time for yourself? It's not selfish or wrong. We need it. I understand that "you time" might be little to none day to day. But if you can somehow find a moment to just stop, think, pray, and appreciate...it can change the entire heartbeat of your day. The days that we have to yourself, do something meaningful with them. Take time to enjoy life a little and rest in the moment. Once this day is over, be thankful for it. And if you've been given the next, take that day and make it yours. It's what you do with it.

Once we learn how to number our days, we'll begin to have a heart of wisdom. 

*photo by Paul Jacala, Copyright 2014

Beauty is Broken

      Call me a weird guy, but I really love weddings. I love what they signify. I love how in one place you find so much community...so much coming together to make the day one to remember. I admire the vision and dreaming that is put into them, and, when the day finally comes, the emotion, the anticipation, the joy that is finally realized in the celebration of a man and a woman becoming one. I feel like like it's one of the few things that we as human beings do best.

      Days like those are so rare, so few and far between. In the midst of the chaos of life, it's the short, momentary glimpses of beauty that remind us that there things in this life still worth cherishing...still worth protecting...still worth fighting for. These are the moments that make us want to keep going... keep hoping. They make us want to see what else lies around that corner, make us want to climb to the top of the mountain and see what's on the other side. They remind us that all the struggle we face on this earth isn't all there is.

      The beauty that we experience is a broken beauty. Not just because we live in a world that is flawed, tainted, and worn, but because so many of us are, on the inside, broken. Beauty is, indeed, in the eyes of the beholder. And when the heart of a beholder is broken, his eyes won't perceive the world around him the way that he's meant to perceive it. So much of what we see is distorted by our pain. And so much beauty is ruined and destroyed day by day by a variety of forces. I think the fact that we miss so much and that so much is lost is a testament to just how messed up everything really is. Every small glimpse of beauty that we see, I believe, is a gift...a sign post...a way that we're reminded and drawn back to things that are good. Many wonder about, but even less seek, the source of beauty. We seek it to capture it, to chamber it in our minds and hearts so that we can go back to it, especially in our old age. But beauty itself doesn't last. Buildings wear down, lilies and roses die, and we as human beings, our minds, our youth, our words, ideas, and passions...they all fade...as does our ability to experience and remember things once beautiful.

     I love traveling and live music. There is so much of this world I have not yet seen, places that my minds eye has yet to admire. Whenever I travel somewhere I always want to be able to capture what I see. I want to able to show people what I've seen and look back on my time...I love the showmanship and energy of live concerts, the way that musicians and venues blend light and sound while telling a story, communicating an idea, or expressing an emotion. But I realize that there are certain sights and sounds, pictures and melodies that aren't meant to be experienced through a lens or a filter. It's an extremely hard thing for me to do, but sometimes it's best to just put the camera away and see the world through my own eyes...eyes that haven't yet faded that can see all the intricacies of the smallest flowers, the patters on the tree trunks, the lights of the city, and the grains of white sand through crystal blue water. It's better to just take in the words of a song, listen to the story, and let it resonate within your soul, singing it back with a hundred thousand people that, for a brief moment, you have found something in common with...even though you know that the music will soon become silence...


      Whether it's spending time with someone we love, enjoying the vibrance and wonder of nature, letting our hearts get swept away by a word, a song, a dance...or saying your vows to the one that is soon to be your other half...this is the fleeting, raw beauty you cannot manufacture. When it's before you, take the moment to wonder at it, admire it, and savor it. And when it has passed, keep going. Keep hoping. Be thankful that you could experience it. The only way we can see the greatest beauty in this world is when we take our eyes off ourselves and look up. We should all seek beauty in the world without, but there is broken beauty within each of us, as well, waiting to be made whole...waiting to be brought out in its fullest for the world to be able to see. When that happens, that is the beauty in this world that does not fade.

"The grass withers and the flowers fade, the word of our God endures forever." -Isaiah 40:8-

*photos by Paul Jacala, Copyright 2014

Not A Cure-All, but a Dang Good Medicine

      What traveling starting at a very young age, working at Starbucks, and working with youth has helped me see is that this world is entirely too large and that we miscommunicate entirely too much. Living in Europe and visiting the Philippines and has made my mind used to the idea that there are idealisms and customs beyond our own, and living in the North, the South, and the spending time in the West has helped me see the notable differences in culture, even among the nation I grew up in. With all our differences of value, culture, race, social class, and context, the only way we get by is by communicating...but we don't always do it gracefully and effectively. 

     Back in my early days as a barista I met a man of Middle-Eastern descent who was well-traveled. He was born in Saudi Arabia, but had lived teaching English in Europe and has traveled to several countries in South East Asia, as well (I believe). Conversing with him for brief periods was both enjoyable and insightful, learning about him and his experiences. What stuck with me in my interactions with him was his remark that in each culture he had experienced, there was always a strong, or stronger, sense of value...a stronger emphasis on respect, a stronger emphasis on community, a stronger emphasis on family.
      Another time I met a dear, sweet woman who lived in Cuba when Castro was in power. She conversed with me (and regular customer of mine) about the hardships that she faced and the things she saw living in Cuba. She had a grace and serenity about her that overcame that hardship, a life dominated by peace. But the point she made was how many people she had met that have little knowledge or awareness of what is happening outside of their borders.

     I know people that have never been anywhere outside of their small town. I know many that wish they could travel, and others that really don't care to. There are other ways to learn. What gets me is meeting people who choose to ignore and be oblivious...people that won't listen or consider. It's the people who have experienced the most that have the most to offer in knowledge, wisdom, and understanding...while so many others are content to be ignorant of the world. The thing I took away from all my experiences this that so many of our issues, our struggles...North and South, black and white, right and wrong, truth and falsehood...comes down to two things: communication and heart.

     There is, certainly, a enormous lack of communication. But the even bigger issue, I believe, is miscommunication. Communication is, many neglect, a two-way street of speaking and listening. This is where most fail...at listening. Our first impulse to speak...often times in bias, prideful showiness, or anger, depending on the issue. We all know those people. Trying to communicate ideas to them who It's like trying to push water out of a pipe while a jet stream is being shoved into the opening. The best conversationalists understand the perfect balance of speaking and listening, interjecting and holding back. A good communicator understands that there is an appropriate time and place for every word.

"The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. 

We listen to reply."

      We fail to hear first where a person is coming from, to put ourselves in other people's shoes, consider their past, their pain, their struggle, the way they were brought up to think. Likewise, what we don't always consider is that our own viewpoint might be faulty, incomplete, or - heaven forbid - wrong. We make mistakes in our assumptions. We must make the choice to listen, to speak, to not be a harmful human being. When others are being ignorant, instead of writing them off, why not show interest...engage in that two-way dialogue. Figure out where they're at, empathize, try to understand, feel, think, and then, when you've done all those things, speak. In all the interactions we have with all the people we will ever come across in this world, there will be millions of ideas and sentiments we will communicate in our life time that we send into the air. Contrary to popular belief, once something is communicated, it cannot be "un-communicated." That being said, it's not just a choice, but it's our responsibility...to communicate what we mean, what we feel. If you, like every human being on this planet, want to be truly understood, you have to communicate.

      But the crux of it all is heart. It's the starting point to whether we're closed off or open to the prospect of listening, opening up, and becoming vulnerable...and, in turn, learning about other people. Our hearts have a desire to be filled, and cultivated, and enriched by the relationships we build with other people, but often times selfishness and prejudice get in the way of truly connecting. If our hearts are full of hate, anger, bitterness, laziness...we don't communicate. We can't communicate. Even the most effective communicators abilities can be hindered by their personal vendettas. But if our hearts are right with the people around us, when we're being selfless, when we give...then we learn, and we can take it all in because we're pouring out. One of the greatest acts of love we can show someone is just listening to where they're coming from, asking questions about them and showing interest in their lives, and showing respect...for who they are and where they've been. This world is entirely too large and overpopulated to only be focused on ourselves. If we truly want to understand one another, we need open hearts, listening ears, and discerning tongues.

      From our hearts flow the issues of life, and from the heart the mouth speaks.

      Photo by Karissa Kincaid, Copyright 2014 

For Those Searching

“This is home.

Now I’m finally where I belong….

I’ve been searching for a place of my own.

Now I’ve found it…”

      We all want that. We want this sense that we've finally arrived at the place that we belong. We want to know we're doing what we were meant to do. We want to know that we indeed have...purpose. We look for this day to day in our personal dealings, in our relationships, in our work, in our hobbies, and in ourselves. We dig deeper and deeper in this crazy never ending search for peace. Or maybe we gave up on that search long ago. No matter where we're at, I think the problem is that we've looked in all the wrong places.

      I think that the issue is identity. We want to be able to be or associate ourselves with something good...something meaningful...something that is satisfying to our heart and psyche. We want to be able to take pride in who we are and what we do so that we can rest in who we are and look forward to doing it again the next day. We want to be able to look into the eyes of a person who completes us in all the right ways that we have the privilege of spending the rest of our lives with knowing we can lean on and share ourselves with them hand-in-hand. These are, in our culture, what we have called "the dream."

      But what happens when things change? What if we no longer have that career? What if the day to day craziness and stress takes the best of us and we aren't even doing what we set out to do any more? What do we do when that significant other becomes distant, suddenly picks up and leaves, or breaks our trust and heart? What happens when the adventures stop? What happens when sickness or accidents take away our abilities and energy. What happens at the end of our lives...?

"...We were meant to live for so much more.

Have we lost ourselves?

Somewhere we live inside..." 

     We don't think twice about the possibilities, and maybe we try not to. We're clutching onto everything we have in this world for dear life in fear that a strong wind, bad luck, or bad people will come along and take it away. But the fact of the matter is that this life is fleeting...ever changing. The things we have, the people we know, won't be here forever. If that is true, what do we hold on to then? What do we find our identity in? 

      Life is a journey with a world full of endless possibilities. We might be meant to do a number of things in our lifetime, go any number of places and meet all kinds of people, but our arrival never occurs on this planet. 

It's in the hereafter.

      We find our ultimate identity in a God that made us, loves us, gave Himself for us, and has a plan for us. We can fight that fact, deny it, kick and scream, shake our fist, ignore it, but at the end of life, we all need to face the possibility. So why not search it out? Test it. Question it. Put it on trial. And maybe, one day, embrace it. 

      We all have a bag full of choices given to us that we can make from the day we're able to think to the day we die. We all have a sense of self-awareness. Every day and every moment is a chance to be the best version of ourselves, to be the person we were meant to be and that we want to be. Don't settle. Take the higher road. Live the deepest life. See the world and what it is. Dig into the hard questions...the ones that really matter. When we find our identity in and pursue the plans that God has for us, we will always have purpose, direction, and hope. We can find that...if we search hard enough.

"It wont be long. 

I belong somewhere past this setting sun.

Finally free, finally strong...

Somewhere back where I belong."

quotes/lyrics from "This Is Home", "Meant To Live", and "The Setting Sun" by Switchfoot 

What is true humility?

What is true humility? 

      As I drive home, and as I feel the rays of the setting sun and see the shadows fall on the yellow lines, I’m reminded that “the shadow proves the sunshine.”

      I’ve always prided myself in my strength areas and the gifts that I’ve been given. I’m proud of the person that I am now and what I have overcome. I take pride in my individuality and my contributions. I'm proud that I've been able to help those around me. And after streaks of "doing things right" and doing them on purpose, I start to feel invincible…like I can do no wrong. There’s a smugness that begins to take over and my gaze begins to avert… 

      And then I fall. I cross that line...I fall short...and I realize I'm not as good as I think I am. People call me on my mistakes and clean up my messes, and my mind drops into the darkness. My self-image, like a sky scraper of stacked wine glasses, comes crashing down into a million pieces. And as I pick up the pieces, and as people try to walk around the shards of my pride and reach down to pick me up, I push them away with bloody hands and a fist full of glass...snarling bitterly. 

      Being humble isn’t to say that we have no worth, but that we should have an accurate sense of self-worth. It doesn’t mean we should never strive to be valuable, but that we should avoid being self-important. It doesn't presume to know everything, but acknowledges its own incompleteness. It isn't scared of being brought low...because it has already lowered itself. 

      Humility is recognizing that our human hearts are capable of doing things wrong, messing things up, and realizing that we’ll screw life royal without going on our knees and accepting help...from God and other people. It’s embracing the fact we have those dark spots instead of trying to hide them. And when we let our darkest parts get contrasted and illuminated by the light…a light that allows us to see ourselves and the world with a proper lens...we see that our shortcomings exist so that our fullest potential can be brought out. It's then that we can discover who we are, make changes in ourselves, and bring out the best in ourselves and other people. 

      The extremely prideful can only fall. The extremely humble can only be lifted up.

quote from "The Shadow Proves the Sunshine" by Switchfoot

Haters and Hecklers

      We all know they’re out there. We all lament their existence. They are the people who need to criticize. They believe that their opinions are objects of fact and not preference. They don’t think things through. Everything in their world seems to be of the utmost importance and any other viewpoint is stamped as irrelevant or ridiculous. They don’t take you seriously. They might even want to see you fail just to say, “I told you so.” They are the people who are haters and hecklers. And we face them every day of our lives. 

      I’ve wondered why there’s so much criticism, so much mockery and jeering that flies through the air. Why do people have this overwhelming need to heckle, hate, and vocalize every unpleasant sentiment to everyone around them? It’s a human issue. We all have opinions that we want to vocalize that we feel must be heard. The problem is that it’s done thoughtlessly and hatefully. 

      People hate and heckle others with a variety of motivations. It may be motivated by a need for inclusion. They take jabs at other people’s lifestyles, choices, interests, creations, and beliefs because it’s the thing to do. Because hating makes them feel like they’re part of something important. Because it makes them feel good. And when we’re not in the “in” crowd it bothers them. We hate because it’s validating. 

      Maybe it’s bitterness. Perhaps some experience in our lives has made us disillusioned. We’re cynical and antagonistic because of a tragedy or a plan that didn’t work out. And when someone else who has it better, has a positive outlook on life, or holds to something that we oppose, dislike or distrust comes along, we turn off and become cold. We might even be hostile. 

      Or maybe we hate because we don’t know. Because we can’t handle the fact that someone or some is different and beyond our understanding. History has proven that human beings fear the unknown, and therefore hate what doesn’t resonate with them. We hate what we cannot control. If it doesn’t work out with our world, our system, then it is unwelcome in our lives. Here’s the simple twofold truth: mockers, jeerers, haters, and hecklers will always be around us in one form and medium or another. And the second part: it’s just downright discouraging. It makes us want to fight back and become defensive. It makes us want to give up. It wounds us…and then we, in turn, begin to hate and heckle on those around us. And when it’s us hating, we feel justified…as do the people who hate and heckle us. 

      When haters hate, our first impulse is to fight back and “return the favor.” But what if…just what if…we listened and took time to understand? What if we backed up, examined ourselves and our motivations and actions? And then when we became fully convinced in our heart of hearts, used our voice? We all have to be fully convinced in our convictions that what we do is helping…that it is indeed good. There’s nothing wrong with being honest, but even honesty must be tempered with truth and love. If we discern thoughtless noise from reasoned out opposition and create the two way dialogue between human beings that has been severed by pride, we create the channel for change. We all need to learn how to tune out the noise. If we were to let every sound we heard into the song of our lives and play it back, what we return is a cacophonous and muted noise that no one wants to hear. And when the entire world is playing back that same noise all at the same time, who can be heard? Who will be listening then? 

      Those of you fighting for the truth, don’t throw in the towel. Tune out the noise, face the opposition and live a life that is quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. 

Sometimes we need to stop for a moment....

   There are moments in life when you seriously ponder what is worth truly fighting for, investing in, and striving after. What is it that we are trying to become in this world? What is every breath of our being going toward? Does dying with ourselves and a self-made legacy harmonize with a deeper, transcendent purpose that burns in the grains of our souls to be realized? If we start with ourselves to look for the answers, do we really find truth or real peace? To what end are we fighting our battles? Our hearts and minds can only wander for so long before we collapse in the wilderness with the reasons we had for setting out into blue long forgotten.

       The world looks at beautiful vase and reasons that its objective beauty is sufficient for it. But what use is a vase without a flower, an object of beauty that compliments it with color and life? What is the vase without a thinking, feeling soul to appreciate its beauty and ascribe its worth. A vessel without a purpose It's nothing but a fragile shell with beauty that will fade in the shadows...forgotten and useless. The vase itself cannot supply a flower. It cannot supply the water to keep it alive, or admirers to praise it. It isn't self-sufficient that it can go without a caretaker to keep it from breaking. All of these things come from outside. 

        Likewise, we as human beings must find purpose, and life outside of ourselves. All our battles are vain if they aren't fought for a greater, higher, and bigger purpose. All our beauty and aspiring beauty will pass with the flow of time and can be destroyed and worn away. If we're not pouring into and walking toward something transcendent, something spiritual that cries within us, does our time on this planet really mean anything after we die? There has to be something greater out there, and that greater purpose for our existence echoes within us from a far. Or maybe it's closer than we think.